Susan farted in front of a lady in the supermarket.
She ran back to get the two boxes of Pop Tarts she abandoned on the shelf and farted as soon as she got there. She didn't even know that she had to fart, it just happened.
Susan is normally flatulent but this was different,
like a little surprise puff of air passing through her anus.
It was almost cute, like a quick Bronx cheer.
That was quite unexpected she said out loud, not directly to the woman searching through the breakfast bars, but for her benefit. Susan took her Pop Tarts and ran away.


linlah said...

I may have laughed at this until i farted.

Rural Rambler said...

Susan, we all think menohhhhhpause is all about hot flashes and night sweats. But I swear on the pointer sticks with the rubber tip that the nuns smacked across my palm that I never farted until menohhhhhpause barged into my life and plagued me with anxiety I never knew could exist and disrupted my upper and lower colon to the point that farting became such an issue I actually almost quit eating. TMI? Pop Tarts are fart inducers!!! TMI????

Dawn in Austin said...

I'm am not happy with the aging process. At all.

I never had these issues when I was younger and do not appreciate them now.

P.S. At this age, every frickin thing is a fart inducer!

Meg at the Members Lounge said...

I have perfected the "who on earth was that" look when passing gas.

Cupcake Murphy said...

I'd like to cheer myself up (kind of) by blaming my gassy state on peri-menopause but I have been a big gas bag from birth and often think I arrange entire days around running away from the Scene of the Fart.

Shelley said...

Ok, I'm so glad it's not just me. Thank goodness I have two gassy dogs to blame.

Teenage daughter - "Oh God Mom, did you fart?" Me - "No Honey! It must have been the dog. I swear, those dogs..."

*Note to self* Find way to bring dog along to grocery store.