OMG, would everybody please stop referring to California as Cali!
F*cking stop!


Susan's daughter responded to the question put forth by her mother of can't anyone in this house do some laundry? by getting up to do some laundry.

What a good girl.

She put dark clothes into the machine, filled the tub with water and took a plastic bottle down from the shelf.

Is this what I use, mom?

She was holding the bleach.

Susan clutched at her heart then traded it for the detergent.


Susan baked a tofu cheesecake using a recipe she's held onto for a few years. It was a pretty easy recipe, just honey, pineapple juice, lemon, unflavored gelatin and a brick of soybean curd.

She even made her own crust which she doesn't normally bother with.

Everything was humming along except that the batter tasted like tofu.
It's one of those flavors that you don't even realize exist until you taste it again, and then you remember.


Susan added a teaspoon or two of vanilla extract (rum and vanilla beans, go make your own), three tablespoons of sugar and felt she was in good shape. She poured it over the crust & stuck it in the fridge to set.

The next day Susan served the bean curd pie to her dinner guests without revealing the secret ingredient then requested their assessment. The flavor was lemony, they could taste the pineapple but the consistency was a little more congealed than they cared for. It reminded them of flan, which gave Susan an idea for individual honey drizzled tofu-custards.

Post script:
Frugal Vegan Mom provided Susan with this tofu based dessert recipe. Thanks, Kelly!


Susan now has a new standard for paper towels in her house. Gone are the days when she'd purchase the cheapest ones, also noted to be the scratchiest ones. She didn't pay attention to to paper towels because who really cares what one grabs to clean the evidence of a sick dog?
That was until Susan was felled by a thick soft thunderbolt called Viva.

How did she live so long not caring about paper towels?

Well, that's not entirely true, it's more accurate to say that she had no brand preference. She hates designs on her paper towels and she double hates that new choose a size where she's guaranteed to tear off less than she needs.

Happily, everything is her world is brand new now that she has found a home in the plush embrace of Viva paper towels.


Susan's dog got beaned on the head with a can of clam sauce.

It happened when Susan opened the tall cabinet over the stove, ducked when the can came at her and watched it bounce off Lucy's head.

The can sustained a large dent but Lucy's cement hard pit bull head was undamaged. Thank goodness.


Susan made a minestrone soup for dinner using the final few vegetables wheezing in the back of her fridge.

She encouraged the family to pile on the Parmesan to distract them from noticing what she knew already, that dinner was doomed. The kids were fooled but the husband eyeballed her from across the table with a look that conveyed why are you feeding this to me?

Why not? she shrugged.
Susan was in an expensive grocery store looking in the gluten free aisle.

$7.99 for a 5.5 ounce bag of chocolate covered pretzels, really?

Nonetheless, she wasn't purchasing them for herself so she put them in the basket and took another ten minutes thoughtfully considering what else she would need then set off toward the sign which read Formaggio.

Susan walked past all manner of gorgeous packaged foods, fresh seafood laid out on tables, beautiful breads and baked goods, but she didn't have the time to stop. She had come directly from work & had a limited amount of time to run her errand then get home ahead of  her company.

The Formaggio sign lied, there was only yogurt & assorted dairy items. She started walking away in search of the cheese when she passed an employee in a white apron.

Where is the cheese? she asked and was directed back to where the cheese wasn't. She more specifically asked the employee if there was a cheese department?

Oh, I thought you wanted like, shredded cheese in a bag the employee said and pointed her toward the other end of the store.

So now Susan knows how she must appear as she walks through an upscale marketplace, like someone in search of bagged cheese.



Another January and Susan's going cold turkey with the sugar.
Well, not one hundred percent cold turkey, she'll still eat cereal, peanut butter and whatever she bakes, she just won't do it to excess. But, the dark chocolate has already been removed from her little office fridge and she's started telling people not to feed her sweets anymore.


Susan had an epiphany on the first day of the new year, if anyone can remember that far back.

Susan was in cousin Lisa's kitchen peeling turnips and squash for soup with a vegetable peeler so f*cking magnificent it was like a piece of surgical equipment.

The oversized soft grip handle provided excellent leverage and control and the peeler easily removed the hard skin of the rounded winter vegetables in a way that mesmerized Susan.

The vegetable peeler got into her brain and started a chain reaction of thoughts leading her to the conclusion that she was just as deserving of a beautiful vegetable peeler as anyone! Susan's own vegetable peeler is a decade old and of basic construction, it has never occurred to her to trade up.

Susan thought about a few of the lower end items in her kitchen such as the plastic mat on which she chops her vegetables and the utensil drawer organizer she made out of shoebox tops. It's very practical but looks like it was made out of shoebox tops.

Often Susan likes to make do with what she has on hand instead of spending money, particularly if it's very utilitarian. That's how she ended up with her dining room seating. But this vegetable peeler went to the core of her self worth. She peels vegetables on a regular basis and why shouldn't she have a f*cking magnificent peeler to aid her in that drudgery? Or a beautiful cutting board on which to chop her vegetables, which she does even more often? Or a bamboo drawer organizer for a drawer that she opens more often than she peels or chops vegetables?

She should have these things, and as soon as her current state of being broke ends she will!