Let's all say thanks to Linlah for sharing this.
Thanks, Linlah!
8.22.2010
Susan took a quick spin thru the thrift store right around dinnertime and found it overrun with Spanish people and their screaming children. Well, it's always overrun with Spanish people and their screaming children but on this particular trip the kids were out of control. One little boy was in negative blood sugar meltdown and the mother's response was to drag him across the floor yelling What's wrong with you?
It was quite entertaining.
Moments later a very aggitated voice came over the loudspeaker demanding that parents keep their children by their side, there were to be no children running in the aisles, no jumping, throwing or rolling. The list of prohibited behaviors went on for a good forty five seconds followed immediately by the sound of a microphone being slammed down.
Tre adorable! Grown men and women were scolded by a public address system.
Oh, and the husband located Susan's green ribbed top, it had fallen behind the dresser. Now her wedding band is gone.
Really, the f*cking thing was on the bathroom vanity and now it's gone.
She's managed to hang onto it for almost sixteen years so she's not going to panic yet, but she's getting ready.
It was quite entertaining.
Moments later a very aggitated voice came over the loudspeaker demanding that parents keep their children by their side, there were to be no children running in the aisles, no jumping, throwing or rolling. The list of prohibited behaviors went on for a good forty five seconds followed immediately by the sound of a microphone being slammed down.
Tre adorable! Grown men and women were scolded by a public address system.
Oh, and the husband located Susan's green ribbed top, it had fallen behind the dresser. Now her wedding band is gone.
Really, the f*cking thing was on the bathroom vanity and now it's gone.
She's managed to hang onto it for almost sixteen years so she's not going to panic yet, but she's getting ready.
8.19.2010
Susan hasn't figgered out where her green ribbed top is yet. She looked in a few more places where it wasn't then tried to badger the huband into a confession.
He wasn't cracking.
In the meantime Susan's getting ready for her three day vacation which is really only two days because she has to leave on the third day. But, they'll be two full days of waking up and going to sleep between which she'll be enjoying the company of her favorite vacationing companions, Cousin Lisa and her husband.
After she gets back she'll get to pal around with her recently absent brother in law who left his family behind and moved to another state in order to find work. More on this later when Susan's not so tired from late night blogging.
He wasn't cracking.
In the meantime Susan's getting ready for her three day vacation which is really only two days because she has to leave on the third day. But, they'll be two full days of waking up and going to sleep between which she'll be enjoying the company of her favorite vacationing companions, Cousin Lisa and her husband.
After she gets back she'll get to pal around with her recently absent brother in law who left his family behind and moved to another state in order to find work. More on this later when Susan's not so tired from late night blogging.
8.16.2010
Has anyone seen Susan's green ribbed top?
It's sleeveless with a V neck and she likes to wear it with one of her black and white skirts. There's not too many places it could have gone to, it's either in the closet, somebody's drawer or the laundry,
except it's not. She extrapolated that the husband must have disposed of it after he washed & shrunk it, or poured bleach on it. Susan has enough anecdotal evidence to support her theory and dismissed the husband's claim that she's paranoid.
What nerve.
Susan needs all her clothes and can't go sacrificing even one little thing. She has a personal relationship with each top, bottom and inbetween. They do their best every day to prop her up and send her off feeling good.
She's launching an investigation.
It's sleeveless with a V neck and she likes to wear it with one of her black and white skirts. There's not too many places it could have gone to, it's either in the closet, somebody's drawer or the laundry,
except it's not. She extrapolated that the husband must have disposed of it after he washed & shrunk it, or poured bleach on it. Susan has enough anecdotal evidence to support her theory and dismissed the husband's claim that she's paranoid.
What nerve.
Susan needs all her clothes and can't go sacrificing even one little thing. She has a personal relationship with each top, bottom and inbetween. They do their best every day to prop her up and send her off feeling good.
She's launching an investigation.
8.15.2010
8.14.2010
Susan had the opportunity to watch Lindsay Lohan's mom on TV the other morning. Susan observed her to be a very unsophisticated thinker with limited conversational skills, and possibly a little bit of a fibber, who is determined to push her daughter farther toward a Valley of the Dolls ending. Very sad.
But sadder still was her hair.
Stop doing it at home, Lindsay's mom.
Get out to a salon already.
But sadder still was her hair.
Stop doing it at home, Lindsay's mom.
Get out to a salon already.
8.11.2010
Uh-oh, Susan missed a day of blogging for boring NaBloPoMo. She assures you it wasn't on purpose, it was that tricky day nine. Damn that day nine!
Well, she can't in good conscience continue knowing that she broke the rules. She's off to punish herself by eating potato chips in bed. She'll see you soon!
Well, she can't in good conscience continue knowing that she broke the rules. She's off to punish herself by eating potato chips in bed. She'll see you soon!
8.07.2010
OMG really, who saw Inception?
Not saw. Wrong word choice.
Who endured the punishing monotony that was Inception?
Was there anyone from Susan's modest fan base who was able to sit on their asses for the entire ten years it took for that movie to play out?
Susan will admit to liking some of the effects, particularly when Juno folded the city streets up and over her head, or when that guy was weightless and trying to kill those other guys. That was neat.
But the rest, oy.
The way Juno talked and talked and talked;
I know what's going on, you put everyone in jeopardy, blah, blah, blah. Enough!
And, DiCaprio and his dead wife being so in love. Really? They must have met in a teenage girl's fantasy.
Who cared about anything in that movie especially the end. Was it reality or a dream? Here's Susan's question for you;
WHO CARES?
Let's talk about something that Susan is totally interested in, Jersey Shore! She's got so many fave parts from last week's episode that she doesn't know where to start.
The tranny clothing store was fantastic, JWoww's outfits are the best, Susan is completely mesmerized by those boobs.
If JWoww's boobs had a show Susan would watch. Roni and Sammi are always good fun but Angelina is showing real talent for entertaining behavior. Susan knows that someone's going to get punched real soon but she doesn't know if she can wait that long. Oh, the agony of Jersey Shore angst!
Not saw. Wrong word choice.
Who endured the punishing monotony that was Inception?
Was there anyone from Susan's modest fan base who was able to sit on their asses for the entire ten years it took for that movie to play out?
Susan will admit to liking some of the effects, particularly when Juno folded the city streets up and over her head, or when that guy was weightless and trying to kill those other guys. That was neat.
But the rest, oy.
The way Juno talked and talked and talked;
I know what's going on, you put everyone in jeopardy, blah, blah, blah. Enough!
And, DiCaprio and his dead wife being so in love. Really? They must have met in a teenage girl's fantasy.
Who cared about anything in that movie especially the end. Was it reality or a dream? Here's Susan's question for you;
WHO CARES?
Let's talk about something that Susan is totally interested in, Jersey Shore! She's got so many fave parts from last week's episode that she doesn't know where to start.
The tranny clothing store was fantastic, JWoww's outfits are the best, Susan is completely mesmerized by those boobs.
If JWoww's boobs had a show Susan would watch. Roni and Sammi are always good fun but Angelina is showing real talent for entertaining behavior. Susan knows that someone's going to get punched real soon but she doesn't know if she can wait that long. Oh, the agony of Jersey Shore angst!
8.03.2010
Susan was not filled with envious green rage on day three of boring NaBloPoMo but she found some forgotten tomatoes in her fridge and fed them to her family instead of throwing them in the compost. This is her offering for the day, she knows it doesn't even make sense but she's tired.
8.02.2010
Day two and Susan is already bored with NaBloPoMo. She's hasn't shaken her pathetic envy of people with money and all she wants to do is fight with her husband about it. Thus far she has resisted but five minutes from now is up for grabs.
Susan has a compost pile in her yard,
here's a link go make one.
Day two, green.
Done.
Susan has a compost pile in her yard,
here's a link go make one.
Day two, green.
Done.
8.01.2010
Susan was all set to ignore NaBloPoMo as she does each month because really, wasn't once enough? She can BLAHg every day on her own if she wants to, and she never wants to.
However, while experiencing the sudden uprising of some extreme jealousies Susan noticed that Green is the topic for this month.
Green
The color of her BLAHg
and all the money absent from her life
and her seething envy.
She took it as a sign and suddenly saw the topic for a month's worth of posts.
Susan doesn't consider herself a jealous person, I mean, she b*tches alot but that's different. Susan views jealousy as being sad, like having an essential discontentedness with things. Susan is just frustrated and a little TWISTED.
Just a smidge.
The teeniest little bit.
You may not have even noticed.
Susan has things pretty good.
She's got a husband & children she still talks to, a house with two new shower heads thanks to a decaying bathroom wall,
people who love her, a job she likes and reliable transportation.
All of this has been temporarily obliterated by vacation envy.
Susan hasn't had a proper vacation in a while and it didn't help that she hated the last two. She generally suffers from a mild form of vacation related jealousy which is easily dealt with by getting up and leaving the room whenever anyone starts talking about theirs. Unfortunately, during this season of vacations there is no escape because that's all everyone talks about. Susan has actually sought refuge in the bathroom to keep from overhearing the unsolicited details of a summer vacation.
Over the weekend Susan's family found themselves knee deep in other people's vacation conversations. Susan's daughter, who Susan thought knew better, asked quite aggitatedly why they couldn't go on vacation as if it were something Susan was witholding from her on purpose.
Susan chased the daughter away by throwing a pound of macaroni salad at her.
However, while experiencing the sudden uprising of some extreme jealousies Susan noticed that Green is the topic for this month.
Green
The color of her BLAHg
and all the money absent from her life
and her seething envy.
She took it as a sign and suddenly saw the topic for a month's worth of posts.
Susan doesn't consider herself a jealous person, I mean, she b*tches alot but that's different. Susan views jealousy as being sad, like having an essential discontentedness with things. Susan is just frustrated and a little TWISTED.
Just a smidge.
The teeniest little bit.
You may not have even noticed.
Susan has things pretty good.
She's got a husband & children she still talks to, a house with two new shower heads thanks to a decaying bathroom wall,
people who love her, a job she likes and reliable transportation.
All of this has been temporarily obliterated by vacation envy.
Susan hasn't had a proper vacation in a while and it didn't help that she hated the last two. She generally suffers from a mild form of vacation related jealousy which is easily dealt with by getting up and leaving the room whenever anyone starts talking about theirs. Unfortunately, during this season of vacations there is no escape because that's all everyone talks about. Susan has actually sought refuge in the bathroom to keep from overhearing the unsolicited details of a summer vacation.
Over the weekend Susan's family found themselves knee deep in other people's vacation conversations. Susan's daughter, who Susan thought knew better, asked quite aggitatedly why they couldn't go on vacation as if it were something Susan was witholding from her on purpose.
Susan chased the daughter away by throwing a pound of macaroni salad at her.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
