Susan failed her NaBloPoMo responsibility of providing a post a day and it was all her parents' fault. They started out by keeping Susan talking in her kitchen till after 1am, then they side tracked her with Thanksgiving, old movies, Chinese food deliveries and thrift store shopping trips.

Damn them!

During their stay Susan hosted a family gathering with meatballs, sangria, blueberry pie and a kiddie table for everyone under 50.

November 19, 1863

Four score and seven years ago our fathers brought forth on this continent a new nation, conceived in liberty, and dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal.

Now we are engaged in a great civil war, testing whether that nation, or any nation, so conceived and so dedicated, can long endure. We are met on a great battle-field of that war. We have come to dedicate a portion of that field, as a final resting place for those who here gave their lives that that nation might live. It is altogether fitting and proper that we should do this.

But, in a larger sense, we can not dedicate, we can not consecrate, we can not hallow this ground. The brave men, living and dead, who struggled here, have consecrated it, far above our poor power to add or detract. The world will little note, nor long remember what we say here, but it can never forget what they did here. It is for us the living, rather, to be dedicated here to the unfinished work which they who fought here have thus far so nobly advanced. It is rather for us to be here dedicated to the great task remaining before us—that from these honored dead we take increased devotion to that cause for which they gave the last full measure of devotion—that we here highly resolve that these dead shall not have died in vain—that this nation, under God, shall have a new birth of freedom—and that government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth.

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Susan crawled around on her belly and cleaned all the baseboard moulding in her house. As long as she was down there she cleaned table legs, the bottom of doors and all the corners in to which she could squeeze a toothbrush.
Filth, not obsessive compulsiveness is the way she sees it.

Susan's folks like to visit The Dali Museum, it's the last place she'd ever expect to find them, but what does she know?

One of tomorrow's projects is to make ginger syrup for a sparkling ginger pineapple punch. The punch notwithstanding, how could ginger syrup not be wonderful?

For ginger syrup

• 1.5 cups water
• 1 cup sugar
• 1 cup thinly sliced unpeeled fresh ginger (1/4 lb; from two 5-inch-long pieces)

Bring water, sugar, and ginger to a boil in a 1- to 1.5 quart saucepan, stirring until sugar is dissolved. Simmer, uncovered, stirring occasionally, 10 minutes, then remove from heat and steep, uncovered, 15 minutes. Pour syrup through a sieve into a bowl, discarding ginger. Chill, covered, until cold, about 2 hours.

Susan is well aware that her BLAHging has sucked lately, she can't help it. She doesn't really feel like BLAHging but she's stuck in the middle of this NaBloPoMo thing and has to do what she can to keep from writing a post. Hence the recycled Smoking Pabst Drinking Jesus.

Wasn't he worth a second look anyway? 

And, nobody liked The President and The King? Susan saw that twenty five years ago in the NBC gift shop & thought it was funny. 

It's a completely legit thing to post and she's not apologizing.

Would you prefer to hear about her BIG weekend plans? It will involve lots of vacuuming, putting stuff away and locating sheets for the bed her parents will be sleeping on next week.

She's also planning a grown up holiday party and has contracted with her daughter to do all the low end chores, like gathering dirty glasses and keeping the bathroom clean. Between now & then she'll be road-testing some new cocktails & researching party games. She's never previously hosted a party then forced her guests to play a game, but she likes the idea. If you have any suggestions please share them with Susan, because you know sharing is caring.

The President and the King

On this thirteenth day of NaBloPoMo Susan would like you to enjoy Smoking Pabst Drinking Jesus in lieu of an actual post.

Susan is going to haul out a fave childhood joke for day twelve.
It's a knock knock.

Susan recalls the hysterics into which she dissolved when her eight year old self heard this for the first time. She bent over like Sammy Davis Jr and peed.

Are you ready?
Susan must offer this disclaimer before she can proceed:
Don't expect much.

Here it is:

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Jackie Gleason's UNDERWEAR!



Told you.

Susan is periodically gifted with an aluminum pan of smoked pork by the husband of her friend, CB. 

Susan spends the rest of the week distributing smoked pork into every meal she can, on the last day she throws the scraps into a pot along with some onions, garlic and vegetables on the verge of perishing to make awesome stock which she turns into awesome soup.

Don't you envy Susan?

My Mom

Nice
Loving
Friendly 
Caring 
Creative
Fun / Funny
Helpful

And a real looker.

*Taken without permission from the daughter's fourth grade Writer's Notebook, circa 2007. 

Say hello to Wild Bill's wee grandson.

Love It Forever photography

Susan caught wind of this 30 Days of Gratitude thing which was probably devised just to bug people like her anyway.

Haven't we had enough with listing things to be grateful for?
Susan sure has.

If somebody doesn't say ENOUGH, then this gratitude bullsh*t is going to flourish.

Aren't we all grateful for the same boring stuff anyway; health, loved ones, clean towels, etc?
Ten years ago Susan was grateful for birth control.
Twenty years ago it was cigarettes.
Thirty years ago, what...The Go-Go's? Who cares.

Susan is grateful that none of the million horrible things that happen to nice people every day hasn't happened to her.
Susan is grateful when she has a question she can GTS (google that sh*t) instead of leafing through twenty volumes of an encyclopedia, like she did in the olden days
Susan is grateful that her mom can't make her eat fish sticks and spaghetti any more
Susan is grateful that she's sort of got the hang of Acme Sweatshop and makes it through most weeks intact
Susan is grateful for curse words.

Now, can we all f*cking stop telling everybody what we're grateful for? Sonofab*tch!

This post a day stuff is a drag.

Imagine if you will, Susan staring for hours at the laptop screen going 'um......' 

Susan got a good night's sleep last night and is no longer in the mood to hate everyone. In fact, that was probably a bit strongly worded. She's not a hater and she doesn't know everyone in order to hate them all. And, she definitely doesn't hate you guys.
Susan's ready to go to work, vote, and meet all the other responsibilities of her day.
Go, Susan, Go!

Susan is not in the mood for BLAHging. 
At all.
She's in the mood for hating everyone.

Susan's children are looking forward to returning to school after laying around the house eating Pop Tarts for a week. She's not kidding, they're happy to go back.

Susan's looking forward to falling asleep watching 30 Rock again.

This is Susan's post for the day.

Susan's relationship with blogging was non existent in October. At first it was due to the daughter using her computer all the time for a school project, immediately followed by a period of inactivity as she considered BLAHging, but lacked enthusiasm. Susan likes to participate in NaBloPoMo each November so she knew she'd have to whip herself into shape by the first. But, that b*tch Sandy knocked out Susan's power and internet access up until almost this exact moment. 

Susan is still going to participate in NaBloPoMo even though she MISSED THE FIRST TWO DAYS, which she just put in capital letters so no one thinks she's cheating or anything. 

Stuff that happened to Susan while she was in BLAHging blackout:

• Wild Bill became a grandpa! The second of Susan's three nieces belongs to Wild Bill and she birthed a wee ginger baby boy. This redheaded baby begins a new generation in Susan's family
• Susan lost a diamond earring
• She stopped getting pedicures
• She infused pomegranate into a bottle of vodka with excellent results
• She encouraged her daughter to cheat at Scrabble 
• She started wearing winter clothes

Also noteworthy, one of Susan's children described her as 'okay' and the other as 'nice'. Her heart is filled to the rim with love.