5.06.2013

Susan had an exciting weekend which started out on with a pre-dawn phone call getting her out of bed and headed to work on her day OFF. Susan is a very mature person so she forced herself not to act all hysterical just because she got four hours sleep and her Saturday plans were f*cked up.

Those plans included hosting a home jewelry party later that evening. She did her best to entice her friends and family to attend what was essentially a business function by tarting it up with a Cinco de Mayo theme. Just for hosting she would get a very pretty and overpriced necklace for free. So easy! 


She felt kind of funny inviting people to an expensive costume jewelry party, but she went ahead and made bright tissue paper flowers and fantasized about laughing with her guests over margaritas, mango salsa, empanadas and spicy Mexican brownies.


Once Susan got home she put on mariachi music and lit her collection of Mexican candles; San Ramon, Nuestra Senorada de Altagracia and Nuestra Senora del Perpetuo Socorro then Little Sister came over and they made the empanadas. 


The amount of guests expected was small, but Susan had no fear, it would be an intimate group. Unfortunately, as the afternoon progressed each of the attendees texted their regrets until no one was left.


A hostess' nightmare realized; she threw a party and no one came.

An alternate plan was put into action. Susan, little Sister and the husband set up chairs around the fire pit and enjoyed the first outdoor fire of the season then went inside and watched Fawlty Towers till it was time for bed. 


At approximately 2am Susan was awakened by the husband running a shower for their drunk, under age son  who was vomiting in the living room. This is the first time they had encountered their son in that condition so Susan took down his baby book from a shelf in the closet to notate the milestone.  


The son locked the bathroom door, as is his habit, and got into the shower. At some point he stopped responding when his father called to him which necessitated the door being bashed in.


Sidebar: The key rests atop the door jamb. 


The son was taking a cold shower while lying in the tub. Eventually everyone made it into their beds and Susan went back to sleep.


Sunday morning Susan awoke with a POUNDING headache. BAM. BAM. BAM. BAM.  With no pain relievers in the house she took hold of the kitchen counter and tried not to pass out as she waited for the coffee to brew. 

Coffee, the magic elixir. 
Half way through her cup she was able to unclench her fists.

Sunday was super-duper. Susan learned a little more about her son's evening, including that he lied about where he was going, got drunk in the home of a classmate whose parents were onsite & then walked home through a dark, sidewalk-less neighborhood where getting run over is a very real possibility.


Susan went to the drug store bought a big bottle of Advil and an even bigger bottle of multivitamins specified for women over 50.


Excellent.

5 comments:

Meg at the Members Lounge said...

Nothing like that first milestone bender from your firstborn! I love how Susan makes lemonade from lemons for Cinco de Mayo.

Frugal Vegan Mom said...

Ouch.. really, ouch! Susan deserves a midweek vacation this week. Just tell that sweatshop to shove it and leave the family to husband for awhile.

Deidre said...

I think Frugal Vegan Mom has an awesome plan for Susan this week - vacation.

Where the Fur Flies said...

When you get called into work on a Saturday, they're supposed to give you Monday off. (Good luck with that, but it sounds good in theory.)

Cupcake Murphy said...

I hope you sent citations to the party offenders.