12.19.2016

Susan wishes she could personally scream at everyone who uses the word magical to describe snow. There is nothing magical about temperature & moisture. Now, if you pull a quarter of out your ass that's magical because it involves magic.

You see the difference.

Non-magical snow may be pretty but it creates nothing but problems for our short tempered heroine. Once Susan exits her driveway she can't get back up. Even a modest amount of unplowed snow in her neighborhood will cause her to abandon the car. Same with the daughter's car. That's two cars she's got to worry about for those keeping score.
Plus, don't people feel stupid using the word magical to describe anything other than a disappearing elephant? Susan thinks it's a very limp attempt at adjectivising. 

She just made that up. Adjective-ising. 

That's the sort of commitment to interesting language she's talking about. Give your audience a reason to stick with you a little while longer, especially if your audience is Susan because once you lose her she ain't coming back.
That's not a threat, it's a promise*.

*Honorable mention goes out to Susan's sixth grade teacher Mr. Persons (real name) who berated her class with this line through the entirety of 1971.