Susan bit her tongue at lunch. 
She was really chomping away at her Sexy Greek Salad when she bit a hole into the middle of her tongue. She's not even sure how that part of her tongue met up with her teeth, but it did.
She announced very calmly to her lunch mate Book Smart, I bit my tongue.
Then it started to hurt. It hurts she said. She may have repeated that piece of information a few times. Book Smart immediately told Susan to soothe her tongue against the roof of her mouth, but Susan had to finish chewing her salad first. 

Sidebar: Book Smart is very composed during emergencies evidenced when Susan overheard a matter-of-fact phone conversation with the husband about one of their kids:
What happened?
How much blood?
Remain calm. I'll meet you at the hospital.

Susan took two Advil and looked at her tongue in the mirror. There was a black spot and a nice 3/4" gash, like her tongue got knifed and was now dying. Susan spent the rest of the afternoon playing with the wiggly bitten piece.

Even with the tongue trauma Susan was able to eat sharp & salty pita chips when she got home.