Susan was Sick!

Susan was in bed from Sunday night to Tuesday morning crawling out only to vomit. For the greater portion of Monday she was actually lying there moaning but did it while no one was home so that she wouldn't reveal herself to be such a pathetic load. She is not used to being sick and tends toward over dramatization.
Sue her.

By Tuesday Susan managed to walk erect & was enjoying a nice starchy diet of toast, oatmeal and pumpkin pancakes. She had her first cuppa coffee in days & like a magic caffeine elixir it banished her headache, although she still felt like someone punched her in the ribs & poured ice water over her head.

Wednesday Susan pulled herself together long enough to interview for a hopeless, dead end job in a technologically bereft environment. (The reader will take note that Susan is sick and UNEMPLOYED). She drove home & immediately climbed back into bed, coat still on, shoes off and slept until someone woke her up to eat a bland bowl of macaroni. However, Susan's symptoms had been reduced to chills, shakes & coughing. An improvement.
And poops like bricks. Sorry.

One of the perks of being sick is that she hadn't done anything in the house, no cooking, no food shopping, no laundry, nothing.

Thursday night Susan busted out some salmon burgers from the depths of the freezer to George Foreman and then put together the few viable vegetables to make Baked Rice (saute whatever's on hand with some onions/garlic, add rice & broth, bake in oven for 15 min @ 400*). She was the last to sit at the table so her family was already eating, in absolute silence, the gruel that had been prepared. Susan took a bite of the salmon & knew what it must be like for someone to have to eat from a garbage can. She put the salmon aside & took a forkful of her rice. She immediately rose from the table & spat it into the sink then collected everyone's dish right out from underneath them & scraped their dinner into the trash. Twenty minutes later they were all eating Hawaiian Pizza from Dominos.

Susan worked some canned fruit into her diet which had a lovely effect on the bricks.

Friday morning Susan awoke while it was still dark to the sound of her mongrel dog urinating in the bedroom which Susan, of course, stepped in. She peered through the darkness into her immediate future and saw a bucket, mop and multiple loads of laundry.