8.05.2009

Is It Hot Or Is It Susan?

Susan decompensates when she's hot.
Absolutely everything in Susan's universe falls into an angry pit of fire. The same breakdown occurs when she's hungry. She'll fling f*cking sh*ts and motherf*ckers quicker than a regular person might say I feel hot.

Susan wasn't always this way, but pregnancy and a surprisingly early menopause took their toll.

All in all, Susan's made friends with her menopause. It's enabled her to trade in the tiresome maintenance of birth control for the simplicity of sex, although she's noticed the tiniest little bit of a diminished libido. Luckily, Susan's like an old lawnmower and the husband doesn't mind yanking the cord over & over until he gets her running.

The bloody, crampy misery of her menstrual cycle is also gone, leaving in its place some hot flashes.
Pretty Chinatown fans are all she needs to cool herself off but if she can't get to one fast enough, watch out.
The contents of her bag will be dumped, with extreme prejudice, into the middle of whatever she's doing.

The standard three days of heightened emotions? Goodbye. But Susan welcomed a sort of reactive hysteria which is disbursed over the course of an entire month. Hardly noticeable, just ask the husband.