What does Susan have against her crock pot?
(Thanks for asking, beechie).
To provide the answer Susan has to travel way back to the '70s and describe the sort of food her mother made her eat. Stew-like things with soft carrots, soft potatoes and stringy meat all held together by cream of mushroom soup. Susan used to excuse herself from the kitchen table to go spit her dinner into the toilet. There were plenty of corn, peas and diced vegetables slopped out of cans, the peas even smelled like pee. Every dinner was followed up by a dessert of fruit cocktail and three kids fighting over the lone cherry in each can.

Susan's pal Cyndi (yes, she really spells her name that way) always had her crockpot humming on the kitchen counter. Susan liked the idea of being removed from dinner preparation but couldn't stomach the idea of soft meat. And, she certainly couldn't have her children complaining about their dinners forty years later.

This notwithstanding, Susan bought a crockpot in a fit of doomed enthusiasm and immediately started looking for recipes that didn't involve red meat. Chicken thighs were promoted as being more flavorful, so she used them and learned that she doesn't like her chicken squishy and fatty. Cousin Lisa provided a recipe for pork chops crockpotted in V8 with onions and potatoes. That was nice of her is Susan's only comment. Chicken crockpotted in salsa and peanut butter ended up in the garbage, bypassing the table completely.
Susan might consider crockpotting some rice pudding.
Dare she?