2.17.2010

Nineteen years ago Susan suggested that her little sister, brother in law and cousin Lisa accompany her to a movie. Little did she know that this Mad Max knockoff starring Rutger Hauer would win her an award as the chooser of the worst movie ever. Susan's companions didn't even wait for the movie to end before they presented her with a plaque, organized a parade and carried her around on their shoulders then made fun of her for two decades.

Even though their assessment was correct Susan's personal favorite most awful movie had already come out two years earlier, again cousin Lisa was present as witness. That one was a first date love story set against nuclear war and was totally unbelievable because Dr. Mark Green was the leading man.

Susan can tolerate a number of unpleasant things; dog sh*t in the grooves of her snow boots, enthusiastically chatty co-workers, having to dry herself off with the bath mat but she cannot endure bad movies.

She and the husband have a lengthy history of walking out as soon as a movie bores them. They even walked out on Sting in a very expensive concert although it serves Susan right for being there in the first place.

Susan does not watch bastardized Hollywood versions of foreign films.
Susan will fistfight her way out of a romantic comedy.
Susan has napped through every movie she ever took the kids to. Every one.

During her last visit Susan's mother brought a number of movies popular with people who don't care what they watch including one with two surefire elements for a new contender; Richard Gere and Diane Lane. Susan's sorry to report that it wasn't bad enough even though everyone broke out in hoots and hollers when Richard Gere died at the end.

6 comments:

linlah said...

goose, permission for flyby

Rural Rambler said...

Susan is not a fan of Sting? Rural Rambles has never ever been a fan of Richard Gere. I don't know what happens to me here but when I comment I sometimes slip into third person speak.

wimbittworld said...

I can't think of a Rutger Hauer movie from 19 years ago. I feel so out of the loop!

I have little tolerance for crappy movies either. I usually rent more than going to a theater and if it is boring, I read or surf the internet while sitting beside hubby. He loves crappy movies.

Cupcake Murphy said...

My husband and I SUFFERED through Sting at the Hollywood Bowl and still talk about the experience like we're The Great Generation and we're remembering the war.

Cupcake Murphy said...

One more thing and then I'll leave: the bathmat thing. PULITZER.

Meg at the Members Lounge said...

I once had to leave a hotel room because *someone* insisted watching that uplifting "Blackhawk Down". My hearing would have been permanently impaired otherwise.