Over the weekend Susan spent an entire afternoon in a bridal shop. Oy.

That has got to be the worst job in the world. Susan can't imagine having to spend eight hours in the company of sweet young brides and their entourage every damned day.

As far as Susan is aware there is nothing that an impending bride can say that she wants to hear.
What, how shiny and beautiful the world is? No!
About the tropical honeymoon?
Again, no!

And, how about all those monotonous white dresses? Susan wouldn't be able to fake her way through a single You look beautiful, darling!
Ugh, she couldn't.


The Zadge said...

I'd love to leave a comment but I've got to go out and buy some hydrocortisone because just reading about your afternoon gave me hives.

Where the Fur Flies said...

After acting as my sister's maid of honor (and watching her try on a bazillion white dresses) I swore that when the time came, I'd get married in a red dress. Come to think of it, eloping and getting married in my pj's on a beach sounds even better.

Meg at the Members Lounge said...

I watched Say Yes to the Dress on TLC, and almost passed out from all the self centered strapless brides.

Dawn in DC said...

My only daughter has said if she ever gets married, she'll run to Vegas. I told her I'd buy the tickets.

Anonymous said...

Ok - This may be somewhat sour of grape since I got married in an awful pink jacket at City Hall, but why would anyone want to
1. spend serious money on a wedding when it could be used travelling the world, alleviating poverty, or just plum kept in a - no, not a bank, Susan - but somewhere safe for when those rainy days come - and 2. stuff oneself into frippery and fakery, bowing and blowing kisses to the assembled I-don't-give-a-f**k masses? What a way to start off a real life together. Maybe this cynicism is why I got a divorce....
Remind me to tell you about working in Saks and being told to "help madam with her zipper." I kid you not.

Anonymous said...

Why is it that women who decided to get married spend the following months, losing weight, changing their hairstyle, getting a spray tan and then walking down the aisle looking like a complete stranger to the groom. I thought the man wanted to marry you for your amazing ability to look gorgeous in trackie daks and mom jeans!