It's been months since Susan spent money on anything other than a bill, or stuffing a wedding envelope, so she and the daughter celebrated the holiday of their heritage in Macy*s and Forever 21.

The first of Susan's goals was to make her daughter happy, which is not difficult because Susan raised her to be happy. The other goal was for Susan to increase her Plan B dress repertoire so she will always have a suitable fancy dress for such occasions when she needs to wear one.

Susan went back & forth into the dressing room with arm fulls of dresses and came out with one worth taking home. On sale even.

As always, Susan encountered other moms shopping with their daughters and took notice of how they attired themselves. There were all manner of horrible hair color on display and she's not talking about crazy teenage hair, she means the moms. Fried yellow hair with black roots seems to be popular as are matronly nips busting through the double layers of brassiere and tee shirt. Mercifully, Susan didn't see much evidence of mom jeans.

Sidebar: There is a wonderful photo on Cousin Lisa's fridge of Susan wearing mom jeans circa 1998.

While searching for the daughter's school sportswear Susan found a rack of stretchy pants, yoga pants to some, all at a nice discount. She grabbed everything in her size and found one pair that fit perfectly. She was all ready to purchase them in duplicate for home lounging when she noticed something a little off.
A snugness in the crotch area.
She readjusted the pants, bent down then stood up but it was still there.

Sadly, Susan left the camel toe stretchy pants on the dressing room rack.

Last stop was Trader Joe's for all the things Susan loves including, but not limited to;
Dark chocolate covered ginger
multiple bags of frozen dumplings, frozen pot stickers and frozen Creamy Polenta with Spinach and Carrots,
multiple jars of Spicy Smoky Peach Salsa,
and two new cheeses to try, Irish cheddar with Porter, and English Cheddar with wholegrain mustard and ale.
She apologizes to her countrymen for mixing the Irish and English in the same cart.

Susan hopes that everyone had a HAPPY Saint Patrick's Day.


The Zadge said...

Matronly nips. Ew.

Meg at the Members Lounge said...

Susan, thank you for noticing the heinous hair colors that I recently wrote about. Also, the nips? Can no wear a proper bra? If you are over 50, you really need some support!

Cupcake Murphy said...

I was at Trader Joe's too. I looked for you.

patti said...

Oh you fancy city people and your Trader Joe's...(jealous). And the dreaded camel toe! Try the cheap danskin yoga pants at walmart (if you can stomach walmart). Right before surgery I bought myself 7 pairs, one for each day of the week. I wanted to be well equipped for my gazillion sick days.

Kathleen said...

Try kohls for yoga pants. And now I am craving trader joes and wishing it wasn't 40 miles away.