Susan needs a new cell phone.
She is completely disinterested in having her cell phone do anything other than make a few phone calls and text. And maybe have a good ring tone like the Munster's theme song.

She is not a big fan of talking on the phone in general and definitely doesn't like holding a tiny cell phone up to her ear, it makes her arm hurt.

She likes to text. Her current phone has a rotary dial which is horrible for texting.

She doesn't care about taking pictures with her phone. She is often trapped standing around waiting for someone to scroll through a billion pictures on their phone till they get the one they want to show her. The best one. She doesn't need to be one of those people.

She doesn't want internet access. She can GTS at home.

GTS is a acronym that Susan's formerly recurring houseguest uses, it means Google That Shit. She likes to say GTS because only the houseguest and the husband know what it is.

Now you guys know too.

She doesn't like to have interactions with real people interrupted to look at something funny on You Tube. Even if it's totally f*cking hilarious it can wait till she's home.

The only other thing Susan does with her phone is use it to wake her up sometimes, like if she takes a nap in her car.

Susan is so disinterested in choosing a new phone that she has abdicated that responsibility to her daughter and provided her with the following criteria;
that it have a qwerty keyboard
be EASY to use
and have good consumer reviews

More on this as it develops.


Where the Fur Flies said...

I bow to you and ask if I might join your cell phone hating club.

Frugal Vegan Mom said...

I'm in the club already. My phone is so old it is unable to receive texts from iPhones. I'm eligible for a free upgrade but the thought of going to the Sprint store makes me cringe. I do like talking on the phone though and miss having a landline.

Cupcake Murphy said...

GTS: qwerty.