While getting her family ready for cousin Veronica's wedding over the weekend Susan pitched a hysterical fit when she overhead her son ask his father if he knew where his solitary pair of dress pants were.
What do you mean you don't know where your pants are what the f*ck are you going to wear why didn't you make sure ahead of time they were clean and hung up and where's your father why wasn't he involved in getting this taken care of what's the matter with both of you we have to leave in an hour!
Susan relaxed once the son produced the wrinkled pair of pants from the depths of a drawer and set to work making them wearable. It was determined that he required a new belt so the boys took a quick trip to buy one while Susan took a hot shower.
All spit shined with newly shaved legs and armpits Susan emerged and began gathering the pieces of her outfit. She only had one viable dress because her new purple dress had been worn at the last family wedding and all the others required some manner of tailoring.
Hmmmm. The dress was not in her closet.
She walked down the hall to her son's closet where she keeps her modest clothing overflow stashed.
She just wore it in December, she knew it was in the closet.
She checked again.
OMG, the dress is in the drycleaner!
Susan has to leave in 35 minutes and her dress is in the drycleaner!
OMG, it's almost 6pm, what time does the drycleaner close?
Sometimes when life is hurtling toward a dismal conclusion and all hope is lost because you're going to have to wear the same purple dress twice in front of everyone, the universe reaches out and gently delivers you across the finish line.
Susan phoned the husband. He knew where the dress was. He had the drycleaning ticket in his wallet. The drycleaner was still in the store even though they normally close at 5:30.
Cousin Veronica got married and everyone had a wonderful time.