Look at the groovy 16 mag Susan found sitting in a box at a yard sale.

It only cost her a dollar to travel back to March 1970 and see Pete, Linc and Julie again!

Here Come The Brides was on after Susan's bedtime, Bobby Sherman remained elusive much to her anguish.

                                                                                                                                         
But not the Monkees! Mickey was her fave although she preferred him without that curly hair.

                                                                                                                                           How to act with boys is every girl's biggest problem!
Don't you agree?

Is it not enough that Susan's eldest child wakes her up before the alarm clock to ask if he could invade the sanctum sanctorum of her purse to remove five dollars for lunch? 
No, it's not enough.

Must he also phone while she's in the shower to request that she divert her commute and hand deliver to the high school the five dollars he left on the table?
Yes, he must.

Susan took the five dollars and wrapped it in a piece of computer paper because she forgets every single time she is in a store that sells envelopes, to buy envelopes. She took a thick Sharpie marker and addressed the slim package thusly;

Mommy and Daddy wuv (name of firstborn removed for privacy) 

Then she decorated it with sparkly butterflies and race car stickers and dropped it off at school. 

Susan's son turned her on to this video a few weeks back, she would have shared it with her bloggy pals earlier, but she forgot. Luckily it's never too late for four minutes of silly happiness with a repetitive beat.

Susan was riding shotgun when the husband stopped to get gas. She spent the next few minutes observing a drunken citizen saunter up to each patron and attempt to shake them down for change. He serpentined his way throughout the station, accosting everyone he encountered, establishing a 100% failure rate. People looked at him quizzically then shook their heads or held up their hands to convey forget it, pal. Ladies stayed in their cars and shooed him away in a flurry of fingernails. He wasn't a sympathetic character; unsteady, glassy-eyed with a red nose & dirty shirt stretched over a big belly. Susan wondered how a person arranges their life so they end up panhandling drunk in a gas station unable to make a dime.

Susan's hairdresser is a friend of her little sister who works out of her home. Sometimes Susan runs into her sister, or her sister's neighbor, and they all chat and have a nice time while Susan's gray is being covered with a close approximation of her original color.

Susan's daughter also likes the hairdresser because she takes the time to listen to the daughter in order to determine how to effectively showcase her curls. Additionally, during the course of conversation the hairdresser has been known to side with the daughter against Susan and the daughter finds this betrayal of her mother appealing.

Often, appointments overlap and Susan will chat with the lady who is vacating the chair into which Susan's ass will be flopping. It's all very pleasant and neighborly and Susan never feels put out by having to interact with a stranger for a few minutes.

Today Susan took the daughter for a trim and got ambushed by the previous client, an extreme talker. Ten minutes went by and the extreme talker kept talking.
Twenty minutes, still talking.
Finally it was time to pay the bill and leave. Talky Talker walked them out.

Outside Susan realized that she didn't have her car, the husband had dropped them off then left to run an errand. Talky was still talking, trapping Susan on the sidewalk. Even the daughter moved away leaving Susan to fend for herself.

Susan watched Talky's mouth, it kept moving but Susan couldn't focus on what she was saying, she was considering her options. 

Susan dropped to the ground, faked a seizure then grabbed the daughter & bolted up the block when Talky ran inside to call the ambulance.


Ed note:
100% true except for that last sentence.

Summer's on the way out and Susan's not fighting it. Go already, she doesn't care. Take the heat and humidity and fruit files and f*ck off.  She's counting the days till she can remove the Burt's Bees Bug spray & SPF 50 sport sunscreen from the bottom of her bag.

Sure, she'll miss peaches and mangoes and basil and the fragrance of her butterfly bush, but she'll have cranberries and clementines and pomegranates to tide her over. Plus, she can turn the oven on and bake something. 

She'll probably cry when she has to turn the clock back & lose that last sunshiney hour and then when she has to shut her windows for good, ugh, that'll be rough.  But, she's still got at least two months till the onset of socks. 

Susan would like to share a sampling of the comments she has received from the highly inarticulate Anonymous since disabling the word verification: 

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