Susan received three gifts today!
The first was an envelope from her boss which she has not yet opened because she forgot it under a pile of debris on her desk.
The second was a cigar (Cuban seeds, rolled in the D.R.)
Third was a commercial gel ant killer.

Susan has ants in her house, which aren't the worst things to have crawling around, but they're a bit of a nuisance.
Here are some places Susan has found ants:

• In the bathroom sink
• On the kitchen counter
• In the coffee machine
• In the sugar bowl
• On her sandwich
• On her computer screen
• On her person

The neighbors directly across the street from Susan were evicted yesterday morning and as a result there was a tremendous amount of sh*t at the curb, except that Susan's neighborhood doesn't have curbs, so it was all piled up in the street.
All night cars pulled up and carted off pieces of the pile including a fella with half his ass cleavage hanging out. Susan tried to take his picture but wasn't quick enough.
Normally, Susan would have been right there with them, but it looked more like a hoarder's pile and Susan's already got a few of her own at home.