Susan spent a beautiful summer Sunday in the house preparing for her colonoscopy on Monday.
First, and most horribly, she was not allowed to eat solid food! The husband was no help at all saying ridiculous things like, don't overreact.
Go f*ck yourself, Susan thought. She can't eat! Of course she's going to overreact.
Susan was restricted to clear liquids including water, juice without pulp and Jello. Nothing red or blue. She may also have popsicles and hard candy, big deal.
Susan sent the husband out for miso and wonton soups from which she strained anything remotely resembling actual food. She drank her juice, ate her Jello and sucked her Werther's until 5:30 pm when she began drinking 32 ounces of osmotic laxative.
It took a little more than two hours to take effect.
Other things she did while not eating real food for an entire day;
Rubbed Lucy's belly
Made a plan for her daughter's 16th birthday next month
Read the newspapers
Made ravioli from wonton wrappers
Watched a documentary about the High Line
Enjoyed a pop in visit from her niece.