Susan is excited anytime she has zero plans for the weekend. She is not encumbered by the need to do stuff or see people and beautiful sunny days can just as easily be enjoyed in her own home as out clomping around somewhere.

Saturday afternoon Susan's little sister rang her up to inquire if she had any plans for the evening.
Other than to be left alone, Susan had none. Little Sister further inquired if Susan would like to accompany her to see Elayne Boosler  and possibly sell some tee shirts for her animal rescue.

Some of you may, or may not remember that Susan's little sister is loopy for unwanted hairy mongrels and volunteers for a local animal rescue. You can read all about them by clicking here. Susan respects the passion they have for what they do, but when more than two of them get together the conversation is exclusively contained to dogs & cats. Susan is limited by a very strict five minute attention span for any of this and has actually shouted at her little sister to 'Stop talking about dogs!'

Susan took a shower, got dressed then steadied herself for a long evening.

Little Sister provided Susan with a Last Chance Animal Rescue tee shirt to wear, and what a shocking delight it was to find that she fit into a medium! Susan has not fit into a medium anything for at least twenty years. Upon arrival to the little 1932 era theatre with pinched faced women tending a dissapointing five item cash bar Susan was relieved to find that favorite rescue member Linda was the only other volunteer in attendance. There would be half a chance that she might enjoy herself.

The girls set up a little table in the lobby next to another little table manned by Elayne's husband Bill supporting her own Tails of Joy which raises cash for small, needy & local rescue groups like Last Chance. Bill chatted and joked with the girls the entire time, he also gave them adorable charm bracelets then Elayne came out to chat and joke with the girls, give them her own donation after which they went outside to take selfies.

Susan wants to stop right here and issue a disclaimer concerning her hair color.

Somewhere in her forties advancing decrepitude robbed Susan of her natural red color. In a curious twist of pigmentation another part of her body sports the exact color she had as a kid, but the top of her head has to get dyed back to an approximation of her original ginger every four weeks. She is always telling her colorist Paula make it more orange and early Saturday morning she did so, but not in a good way. There you have it.

The girls got to watch Elayne's show, and although it was filled with written material, it was really just her on stage talking to people. This included someone who had brought an envelope of pictures from their old neighborhood in Sheepshead Bay initiating a ten minute conversation about who lived in which building, where their families ate, and did he possibly steal her bike. More than once El Boo mentioned that she was now old and fat for which Susan knew she could make immediate improvements by simply dressing her differently.

The girls popped up out of their seats and waved their hands when El Boo gave a shout out to Last Chance inviting everyone to buy a tee shirt or make a donation on the way out. After the show El Boo chatted and laughed with everyone, smiled for as many pictures and signed as many autographs as were requested cheerfully indulging the last fan standing, a crazy cat lady who was sporting the exact toe nail polish as Susan. The girls waved to El Boo and Bill as they walked off into the night accompanied by a college student who was conducting a research project on female comedians. Or perhaps she was the final part of a threesome, either way Susan had no business knowing.

Got a few minutes left? Treat yourself and CLICK HERE.

Even though Susan and her little sister were only in North Carolina for four days and the teeniest portion of a fifth day, they had many silly adventures. 

Most importantly, Susan is happy to report that Sophie the dog endured her operation very well, was praised by the veterinary staff for behaving like a champ and left with an enviable bionic leg to tell all her friends about.

During their trip they saw a turkey owl in a tree, a swan bat in the air, a stagecoach-wheel car in a parking lot, and hotels made of trailers. They also saw plenty of swamps, double decker trucks filled with pigs and trucks carrying the longest, most dangerous looking logs. Those trucks scared the sisters.

It was very exotic.

They were serenaded by plenty of screaming preacher radio and Pat Boone singing Stairway to Heaven in the most hilariously uncool way. It was so uncool it almost circled around and became cool.

Susan’s little sister found it almost impossible to order a cup of hot tea anywhere in the state because any request for tea is assumed to be for sweet tea. At one drive-through little sister had a devil of a time getting the voice over the loud speaker to understand her simple request and was forced to shout NO! when the voice asked one more time if she wanted sweet tea.

Hot tea?  the voice asked in the most incredulous manner.

With milk?! as if she were being asked to provide a cup of baby’s blood with chocolate syrup.

Hot tea dificulties notwithstanding, the sisters found North Caroliners to have superlative manners.

While Susan and her little sister were in North Carolina they enjoyed a marvelously refreshing cocktail provided by an adorably under attentive bartenderess at Yo Sake. The bartenderess took pride in her concotion and was kind enough to provide the ingredient list for home replication.
Susan likes to call this cocktail the Near Miss, which relates to a funny occurance earlier that day.

The Near Miss

Gin
Ginger liqueur
Simple syrup infused with basil
Lemon juice
Muddled basil
Seltzer
Serve with lots of ice, a lemon wedge and a basil leaf garnish

Susan recommends that you guzzle the first and sip the second.

*Editor's note: In the absence of fresh basil Susan infused her simple syrup with rosemary and declared it to be a marvelous substitute.

Susan scored this awesome leather patchwork jacket on Sunday's outing to the Urban Jungle. She can't believe that it escaped being snatched up by some fashionable gentleman on his way to mess up a few prostitutes.
But, it wasn't...so now it's hers!

Susan's little sister has a house full of rescue animals, some are her own, and some she fosters through Last Chance Animal Rescue (LCAR). Susan's little sister is f*cking kooky about saving doggies and kitties by bringing them into her house and letting them run around and jump on people when they're sitting on the couch trying to watch Nacho Libre. Eventually they get adopted and then she brings home more except for every once in a while she'll keep one.

Sophie is one of little sister's former rescue dogs who is now a member of the family. She's a perfectly fine brown dog with a good personality. A few weeks back Sophie broke her leg in a few places and required an operation with plates and pins and an unbelievable price tag. The secondary, and ultimately less effective option was to cast the battered limb, still at a steep cost, and hope for the best.

Little sister's friends at LCAR were nice enough to go behind her back & begin raising funds on the sly to pay for Sophie's medical expenses. As it turns out Sophie's leg has not healed properly and requires an operation which will be taken care of by a veterinary orthopedic surgeon in North Carolina next week.

Susan has put up a little gadget on which you can read all about Sophie and send some cash if you're so inclined.

Susan's in a rush now, she'll write later.

Susan is sort of missing Wild Bill who just up & took off without so much as a text goodbye to his sisters.

But, he's easy to track down and they anticipate that he'll be back in the summer. Hopefully alone.

This photograph of Susan with Wild Bill and their little sister is from way back in 1988 when little sister was
in the family way with the first of Susan's nieces. The photographer, Wild Bill's girlfriend at that time, remains one of Susan's favorite friends and periodic houseguest.

It's also nice to know that the years haven't beaten the sibs up too badly.

On Saturday night Susan took a ride with her little sister into the greatest city in the world. They were on a mission to move out ninety eight percent of her niece's belongings from the dorm she occupies at sleep away art school.

While the other two were packing everything up Susan's job was to read the paper and chase panhandlers away from the car.
She did an admirable job with both tasks.

The niece kept only what she could transport home on the train the next night; a change of clothes and an iPod. Shortly after goodbye kisses and begining their drive home, Susan and her little sister witnessed a bicyclist smack into a couple as they all crossed paths at a corner.

Somehow, no one hit the ground.

The bicyclist managed to get knocked off the bike, but stay on his feet, propelled by the energy of the collision into a sort of fast walk toward the line of cars waiting at the red light. He didn't stop, he just kept walking like an over-wound robotic Frankenstein until it became evident that he was drunk.
He was wearing a mohawk hat.

The girls roared with laughter and tuned the radio station to Xmas music.

Little Sister's Birthday!

The other day was Little Sister's birthday. As little sisters go, Susan thinks hers is the best. She can't vouch for the absolute accuracy of her statement because she hasn't met every last little sister in the world, but Susan figures hers is close.
She's Susan's best and only.

Now, Susan's little sister isn't perfect; she's a bit passive-aggressive, likes to take charge of everything and engages in political pontification, but Susan manages to navigate around these defects by taking a nap on the couch. Or by telling her to shut up on her birthday.

Susan's little sister is pretty smart, very funny and can still retain most of what she reads in the newspaper. She can can throw a punch, feed a house full of people with no notice and still likes to play soccer even though she should have been retired years ago.

Little sister is a model of self sufficiency; she works a full time job, runs a business of her own, troubleshoots the computer, builds steps to the hot tub, fixes any number of things that break in the house and digs the hole to bury dead pets.

Susan's little sister has let pre-approved family members flop at her house without departure dates,
including Susan. Twice.
It is now the permanent residence of Wild Bill's daughter who they are all happy to have near. Wild Bill is still in the vicinity, although contact of late has been minimal.

Susan's little sister is talented at gift giving. Recent favorites include the assortment of Jesus sticky notes, a wooden wick candle that smelled terrific and lasted all winter and the big orange pocketbook that Susan wouldn't allow her to buy from a guy on the street last weekend. It was a nice oversized pocketbook in a favorite color but Susan's little sister is just as broke as Susan, plus they were verging on being late to see Carrie Fisher at the old Studio 54 and couldn't dedicate any more time to the transaction.

The sisters had a full weekend of togetherness; Friday night for birthday cake, Saturday night with Carrie Fisher and then all the next day at a soiree with their beloved girl cousins. By 10pm Sunday night the sound of little sister's voice made Susan's brain hurt.