3.09.2009

Parental Failure

Susan appears to be failing in a specific parental responsibility; to motivate one of her medium-sized children to complete his homework. Perhaps the term homework is misleading, let's add social studies projects, English test reviews and Italian worksheets just to be safe.

For purposes of identification and until the child in question decides to pull his head out of his arse, he will be known as Fuckleupagus.

Fuckleupagus has many exemplary qualities but we're not going to talk about any of them right now.

Fuckleupagus dooms himself to failure, which Susan guesses is pretty standard behavior for someone of his demographic. The lies of Fuckleupagus are riddled with facial tics, are poorly constructed and unravel easily. Sometimes he seems woozy with panic when caught, and other times he appears completely unconcerned. This inconsistency is certainly a puzzlement for Susan.

The electronic recreational privileges of Fuckleupagus have been replaced with enforced reading and early bedtimes. This has resulted in minimal effectiveness so Susan has added jumping up & down and screaming for variety. Susan has also tried calmly questioning her Fuckleupagus because there's obviously something wrong with his f*cking brain and did he wish to see a doctor?

Susan has always found the discipline of her children to be a tricky area. Her own mother ruled by the back of her hand and Susan's children should thank their lucky stars that Susan has not chosen to follow that example.
Although she'd like to, yes she would.

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