The Drunks Were At It Again. Oy!

Susan was up very late last night reading.
She read without a care for the hour, or her bladder or what she would wear in the morning to her recently acquired job. She was happy to have only the quiet of a Tuesday night to keep her company.

Susan was comfortably situated near an open window in her living room when she became aware that Mrs. Drunk was out in the street. Mrs. Drunk sounded sloppy and stupid, which means she was speaking in her normal conversational tone.

Since Susan was not being directly addressed she was able to put aside the moderate disturbance caused by Mrs. Drunk and continue reading. Susan is able to tune out all sorts of background noises thanks to training provided by her children. Anything really loud like the sustained shrieks of a toddler or something heavy crashing down the stairs or a car alarm will be impossible to ignore and demand investigation. So, one can imagine how much attention two car alarms going off in the wee hours of a Wednesday morning would require.

The first alarm went off directly in front of Susan's house. She expected the car's owner to fly on winged feet to quiet the ear splitting racket, but this didn't happen. Instead, the alarm of a second car began to clang and crash and roar. This made Susan hop up and walk outside where she observed someone resembling Mr. Drunk, illuminated by flashing headlights, dancing to the monstrous beat of the dual alarms.

Susan was joined outside by her husband. The two watched in quiet unison as each car was eventually rendered silent with the turn of a key. A 'sorry' was tossed in their direction and once again the street became just what it should be, quiet and dark.

Susan and the husband went inside, shut the door and went to bed.


Anonymous said...

Dear Twisted Susan,
I got your link from BOSSY's Blog.
Very funny stuff! We used to live next to a gang of drunks. We watched in high amusement one night as a jilted girlfriend slammed her high heels against their sorry door. My sympathies!


Cupcake Murphy said...

A very large dream of mine is to compile an anthology of god awful neighbor and landlord stories. My sister and I STILL laugh our asses off remembering our BEYOND drunk neighbors who would throw each other down the stairs as they referenced how they each thought they saved the other from a place they referred to as Rattlesnake Road. I always thought this was an insane asylum and my sister deduced that it was a prison. Good times in Studio City California.