Susan had no idea when she woke up this morning that this would be the first day of her emancipation.

It started quite normally with blue skies, the Sunday papers and children grumbling about having to go back to the church of their mother's experiment after a lengthy absence.

When the family returned home Susan changed into something more appropriate for the summer heat and set about the business of enjoying the day. She took her new birthday laptop out to sit under the shade on the deck and check her e-mail.

Ugh, a message from Facebook;

Somebody posted something on your Wall and wrote something boring.

Susan f*cking HATES FB and is sorry she ever let her little sister sign her up for it.
She originally thought that it might be a good way to keep track of her nieces who were not always accessible because they had better things to do than anything Aunt Sue could offer them.

Pretty soon some of Susan's cousins had profiles, and her out of state girlfriends, and her children, which started a war with the husband but he backed off, and then everyone else in the universe including Wild Bill's much loathed former spouse who used FB to spy on everyone until they figured out to change their privacy settings.

Unfortunately, no one ever wrote anything interesting unless one finds misspelled tedium with lots of exclamation points interesting.

Susan does not.

As a coping mechanism she would prowl FB after hours writing nasty comments on deserving friends' walls, unfriending them one by one.

Today was the day that she reached her limit for insipid blathering and deleted her profile.

Goodbye FB friends, some of you weren't friends anyway, as for the rest,
she'll see you in real life.


Salty Miss Jill said...

YES. Few things enrage me like Facebook. I wish I could burn the whole thing down.

You have the best name ever, you do know that? ;)

Dawn in Austin said...

I've set mine to super private, but am nearing the end of my rope. You've given me a good idea, though. Nasty comments, then unfriend. Love it!

Meg at the Members Lounge said...

Oh Susan, did your mother-in-law try and friend you on Facebook like mine did?


Cupcake Murphy said...

Buttbook is more like it.

patti said...

Ha! I was just thinking, If Susan's on facebook, maybe I should friend her.....

linlah said...

If you have the strength I too may be able to muster this.