1.13.2013

Susan wished someone boo-guy instead of goodbye recently. That sounds kind of cute doesn't it? 
Well, it's NOT. 
There are mounds of evidence stacked against Susan's brain for this type of nonsense.
Two minutes ago she mistakenly called the son's cooler a backpack. She attempted to correct herself by then calling it a coldpack.
There are gaps in her sentences while she hunts for her next word. She's not referring to anything tricky like obfuscation or corpulent, she's getting jammed up by hamburger bun and dishwasher.
Holy crap, Batman.
She forgot that she owed her little sister several hundred dollars and when it was brought to her attention Susan said 'Really?' because even after that reminder she still didn't remember.
Susan writes down everything she needs to do lest it cease to exist beyond her next thought. She maintains a two page to-do list for use at Acme Sweatshop with a separate column for miscellaneous tasks under the heading OMG, there's MORE to do?
Susan appreciates everyone who tells her that this is a result of having too much on her mind but she knows they're lying.

11 comments:

Where the Fur Flies said...

It's all downhill from here, isn't it?

Helen + ilana = Hi said...

How come when this happens to me (and it does all the time) it's scary and when it happens to you it's witty??

patti said...

It's Peri-menopause, darling. I've been chemically slammed into it twice, so I recognize it. Get more sleep (hah! if you can) and exercise more. That helps a little.

Deidre said...

I once combined "you're welcome" with "no Problem" which came as "you're problem" which no one wants to here. AWKWARD.

Dawn in DC's Dad. said...

You can call it peri-menopause if you want, but it happens to men, too. I asked my doctor about it and he gave me a simple little test. When I asked him about it he said you would be surprised at how many people couldn't do it. It's probably not serious, but check with your doctor. Getting older isn't for wusses...

Meg at the Members Lounge said...

Welcome, Susan. I used to KNOW EVERYTHING.

Mrs. Tuna said...

I keep trying to do mental gymnastics like brain teasers. The problem, I couldn't do the fuckers when I was 20 why do I think I can do them now?

Kathryn said...

patti said... that Twisted Susan should exercise more, now that's funny.

Kathryn said...

...and did I mention you owe me money?
Loads.
You must have forgotten.

Dawn in D.C. said...

Hey! I think you owe me money, too. But I can't really remember.

I have the same problem with the words. I can write them, play with them with friends, but for some reason, when I go to speak them, they get all effed up as they start coming out of my mouth. Or lost.

My dad is right, getting older is definitely not for woosies.

Piper @ Her Ace in the Hole said...

Sharon, I mean Susan...I blame our mush brain on a few things. 1) Growing a baby and giving birth, 2) being exposed to Oprah on TV for more years than we'd like to admit, and 3) too many tequila shots. Even ten is too many. I think. But I can't remember.