OMG, it felt like last year went by so fast when in reality it took an entire year to drag its sorry ass across the finish line.
Things started out with lots of excitement;
Susan was unemployed, her car got repossessed and the family lost their medical benefits. Wow!
But, laughter is the best medicine and, boy did they laugh. LOL!
Did they let any of this stop them from going on vacation? No they didn't. Twelve hours in the car got them a long weekend in North Carolina visiting the husband's daughters.
Susan knows that she's kind of making fun by insinuating that this may have been a less than glamorous trip.
She wants to say it loud & proud that she had a terrific time and hopes to be invited back again, although it would be nice to fly there.
Like all proud homeowners behind on their mortgage payments there were home improvement projects during the year. The husband hung some shelves and Susan bought new towels. They're looking forward to Phase II when they repaint a room.
Let's not forget about the kids, they had their own busy schedules of going to school followed by a summer of putting pizza rolls in the microwave and watching TV.
Susan served as juror number 6 during the home invasion trial of a drug dealer. She loved jury duty because it was like criminal justice theatre. Plus, she had nothing else to do and they paid her $40 a day.
There were blessings for the family too, and everyone knows just how much Susan adores the word blessings. She can't hear it enough.
Blessings.
In an economically desolate environment Susan got herself a new job. And eventually a new car payment. And payroll deducted medical benefits. And contributions to a 401(k). Then the IRS played a little trick on them, but it was all in good fun and everyone had a big laugh. LOL again!
There was a visit from Wild Bill which is always fun and frustrating and maybe a little chaotic. This trip he delivered his daughter safely back to her New York family.
To stay, hooray!
The year ended with a coupla things and blah, blah, blah.
The end.
Showing posts with label Unemployment. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Unemployment. Show all posts
1.08.2010
3.25.2009
The $130 Pair Of Pants
Susan purchased an expensive pair of pants rather impulsively the other day. She was under the euphoria of job foreplay and was too woozy to make a solid purchasing decision. Although the pants were nice, they never would have made it out the door with her under normal circumstances. But, sometimes when one shops in a nice store, with proper dressing rooms and psychologically trained sales personnel, things just happen. Particularly when one comes directly from a promising job interview armed with a gift card.
The following day the pants went back.
In their place were purchased two tops because that's what Susan needs. She can wear the same pair of black pants for a month as long as she alternates everything else. Susan would like the reader to know that she also negotiated a 20% discount on one item and free shipping on the other.
Susan rocks.
When Susan returned home after a long morning of trying on all the clothes in the store twice, she expected to find a message on her answering machine from her prospective employer.
There was no freak-out when the message was not there.
Susan is a confident and mature woman, not a paranoid & isolated housefrau who believes that there is a plot to f*ck around with her. What employed stranger has the time to f*ck around with Susan anyway?
Susan kept her mind occupied by ironing everything in her closet.
She mended seams and polished jewelry.
She brutally re-assessed her clothing.
Susan started a bag for Goodwill.
Eventually Susan left the house to watch her son's wrestling team, eat pizza and interact with her family like a normal person.
The following day the pants went back.
In their place were purchased two tops because that's what Susan needs. She can wear the same pair of black pants for a month as long as she alternates everything else. Susan would like the reader to know that she also negotiated a 20% discount on one item and free shipping on the other.
Susan rocks.
When Susan returned home after a long morning of trying on all the clothes in the store twice, she expected to find a message on her answering machine from her prospective employer.
There was no freak-out when the message was not there.
Susan is a confident and mature woman, not a paranoid & isolated housefrau who believes that there is a plot to f*ck around with her. What employed stranger has the time to f*ck around with Susan anyway?
Susan kept her mind occupied by ironing everything in her closet.
She mended seams and polished jewelry.
She brutally re-assessed her clothing.
Susan started a bag for Goodwill.
Eventually Susan left the house to watch her son's wrestling team, eat pizza and interact with her family like a normal person.
3.24.2009
Susan Contemplates Her Unemployment
Lately Susan's unemployed ass could be found winding electrical tape around the pieces of her life hoping they'd hold together for one more day.
That notwithstanding, she has enjoyed large parts of her exile from the working world.
She spent the summer with her kids, then relished the solitude when they went back to school.
She liked the relaxed pace of not having to be anywhere.
It didn't matter if she ran out of clean clothes.
There was always time for whatever she wanted to do, as long as it didn't cost anything.
She learned how to cook curries and make chutney. She figured out she could replicate ricotta with tofu, lemon juice and dried oregano. She had an affair with blue cheese.
Susan had a couple of melt-downs; like when the COBRA benefits were cancelled or when her food budget could not accommodate paper towels.
Susan has been led to believe she'll be offered a job shortly. One with responsibilities and benefits and people to talk to. With a decent salary. A job Susan anticipates she'll actually like.
Susan celebrated this possibility with a $130 pair of pants.
Simmer down, she used a gift card.
That notwithstanding, she has enjoyed large parts of her exile from the working world.
She spent the summer with her kids, then relished the solitude when they went back to school.
She liked the relaxed pace of not having to be anywhere.
It didn't matter if she ran out of clean clothes.
There was always time for whatever she wanted to do, as long as it didn't cost anything.
She learned how to cook curries and make chutney. She figured out she could replicate ricotta with tofu, lemon juice and dried oregano. She had an affair with blue cheese.
Susan had a couple of melt-downs; like when the COBRA benefits were cancelled or when her food budget could not accommodate paper towels.
Susan has been led to believe she'll be offered a job shortly. One with responsibilities and benefits and people to talk to. With a decent salary. A job Susan anticipates she'll actually like.
Susan celebrated this possibility with a $130 pair of pants.
Simmer down, she used a gift card.
3.06.2009
Susan's Guide to Home Confinement
Sometimes we may find ourselves trapped at home for extended periods of time. The reasons vary. You may be taking time off to raise small children or be wearing an ankle monitor or perhaps you are unemployed and your car was towed away first thing Monday morning. Regardless of the reason Susan knows how you feel and has a plan to help.
Most working folks say they'd jump at the chance to shuffle around in PJs all day with nothing to do, but they don't know what they're talking about. Once you've put those babies down for a nap, washed all the windows, organized the tools in the basement and looked up your old schoolmates on Facebook, depression sets in fast.
Really fast.
First off, you must MAINTAIN as much NORMALCY as possible. This means that you get out of bed before the sun has begun it's descent. Take a shower, brush your teeth & do something with that hair of yours. No one is to take their shower after dinner. Showering is a morning activity.
After your shower you must GET DRESSED in clean clothes. Casual clothes are acceptable, even required for your new lifestyle. However, let's establish the definition of 'casual'. A casual wardrobe is comfortable, maybe even a little bit frayed around the edges, this fraying must not detract from the overall visual appeal of the garment. Something left on the floor of the laundry room for two years is stained with bleach and full of holes rendering it unacceptable.
Yoga pants or gym pants matched with a properly fitting, coordinated top are fine for staying home. However, wearing sweat pants and your husband's tee shirt is not. Come out to Susan's neighborhood and she'll show you what she means.
Now that you're showered & dressed, let's go have breakfast.
EATING PROPERLY is very important to keep your mood buoyant. When your blood sugar crashes so do you. Please eat at regular intervals, preferably sitting upright at a table and include vegetables or fruit daily. Susan will admit to having a period in her life where she fed herself & her children breakfast cereal for every meal. It lasted a few weeks and everyone survived. Feel free to indulge in a bit of comfort food but maintain your self control because everyone will notice your fat ass.
KEEP the TV OFF. Susan finds the radio very relaxing and recommends it as a way to stay connected to humanity. However, take caution when listening to overtly one-sided AM programming, it's too easy to become brainwashed by someone else's agenda. Susan had to detox from Dr. Laura a number of years ago.
ORGANIZING your PANTRY is nothing to be ashamed of. Just don't do it every week. The same goes for rearranging your linen closet, bookshelves or wardrobe. Any of these are worthwhile projects. Susan is a big advocate of throwing things out in tandem with these activities. The more aggressive you are the better. On the topic of donations, no one will be damned for throwing out a perfectly good book although it is recommended you donate your coats and footwear.
CULTIVATE an OBSESSION. Nothing counter productive or deviant but something that inspires enthusiasm and help focus your thoughts. Susan learned to bake this way. Baking is very calming in its monotony. Susan still uses this as a way to unwind although now she's added cooking to her repertoire of anxiety deflecting activities. Recently she found herself logging onto cooking blogs like they were pornography with hands shaking upon the realization of having all necessary ingredients for mango chutney; frozen mango, fresh ginger, red pepper, tumeric, allspice, cumin...
Please excuse Susan as she has digressed from the original topic.
INVITE FRIENDS OVER. Neighbors are an acceptable substitute for actual friends. Put up a pot of coffee and enjoy some face time with real people.
READ SOMETHING. As hard as it is for Susan to accept, she knows that there are folks out there who don't own anything with words written on paper. For everyone else, go get a book, a stack of magazines or the newspaper. Middle of the afternoon or middle of the night, this is a calming, solitary pursuit.
Most working folks say they'd jump at the chance to shuffle around in PJs all day with nothing to do, but they don't know what they're talking about. Once you've put those babies down for a nap, washed all the windows, organized the tools in the basement and looked up your old schoolmates on Facebook, depression sets in fast.
Really fast.
First off, you must MAINTAIN as much NORMALCY as possible. This means that you get out of bed before the sun has begun it's descent. Take a shower, brush your teeth & do something with that hair of yours. No one is to take their shower after dinner. Showering is a morning activity.
After your shower you must GET DRESSED in clean clothes. Casual clothes are acceptable, even required for your new lifestyle. However, let's establish the definition of 'casual'. A casual wardrobe is comfortable, maybe even a little bit frayed around the edges, this fraying must not detract from the overall visual appeal of the garment. Something left on the floor of the laundry room for two years is stained with bleach and full of holes rendering it unacceptable.
Yoga pants or gym pants matched with a properly fitting, coordinated top are fine for staying home. However, wearing sweat pants and your husband's tee shirt is not. Come out to Susan's neighborhood and she'll show you what she means.
Now that you're showered & dressed, let's go have breakfast.
EATING PROPERLY is very important to keep your mood buoyant. When your blood sugar crashes so do you. Please eat at regular intervals, preferably sitting upright at a table and include vegetables or fruit daily. Susan will admit to having a period in her life where she fed herself & her children breakfast cereal for every meal. It lasted a few weeks and everyone survived. Feel free to indulge in a bit of comfort food but maintain your self control because everyone will notice your fat ass.
KEEP the TV OFF. Susan finds the radio very relaxing and recommends it as a way to stay connected to humanity. However, take caution when listening to overtly one-sided AM programming, it's too easy to become brainwashed by someone else's agenda. Susan had to detox from Dr. Laura a number of years ago.
ORGANIZING your PANTRY is nothing to be ashamed of. Just don't do it every week. The same goes for rearranging your linen closet, bookshelves or wardrobe. Any of these are worthwhile projects. Susan is a big advocate of throwing things out in tandem with these activities. The more aggressive you are the better. On the topic of donations, no one will be damned for throwing out a perfectly good book although it is recommended you donate your coats and footwear.
CULTIVATE an OBSESSION. Nothing counter productive or deviant but something that inspires enthusiasm and help focus your thoughts. Susan learned to bake this way. Baking is very calming in its monotony. Susan still uses this as a way to unwind although now she's added cooking to her repertoire of anxiety deflecting activities. Recently she found herself logging onto cooking blogs like they were pornography with hands shaking upon the realization of having all necessary ingredients for mango chutney; frozen mango, fresh ginger, red pepper, tumeric, allspice, cumin...
Please excuse Susan as she has digressed from the original topic.
INVITE FRIENDS OVER. Neighbors are an acceptable substitute for actual friends. Put up a pot of coffee and enjoy some face time with real people.
READ SOMETHING. As hard as it is for Susan to accept, she knows that there are folks out there who don't own anything with words written on paper. For everyone else, go get a book, a stack of magazines or the newspaper. Middle of the afternoon or middle of the night, this is a calming, solitary pursuit.
3.02.2009
Susan Looks Unemployed
Susan's daughter came home from school, saw Susan & asked 'Aren't those the same clothes you had on yesterday?'
Then the husband came home from work, saw Susan & said 'Nice look.'
Susan responded that this was her Default Look.
'Reboot' sez he.
Then the husband came home from work, saw Susan & said 'Nice look.'
Susan responded that this was her Default Look.
'Reboot' sez he.
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