She's very loyal to her smells.
Don't think that sniffing it at the perfume counter is going to be enough to pick up the smoky undertones. Give it a spritz and smell like Susan for the afternoon.
11.03.2011
Euphoria
She's very loyal to her smells.
Don't think that sniffing it at the perfume counter is going to be enough to pick up the smoky undertones. Give it a spritz and smell like Susan for the afternoon.
11.02.2011
The Endurance
Do you know this story? OMG, it's fantastic and unbelievable and comes with pictures!
Read about the book here.
11.01.2011
The Menaced Assassin
This is one of Susan's favorite paintings, you can see it at the MoMA, which is not really one of Susan's favorite museums although lots of people seem to love it.
Susan is going to fulfill the obligation to provide a post a day by revealing thirty of her favorite things. She's not quite sure of what they all will be, and they may be as simple as oatmeal, but she'll weed 'em out.
Day one is done.
10.31.2011
Susan prepared to begin her month of daily BLAHging by drinking coffee and thinking up gimmicky stuff to post for when she can't come up with anything better. She also ate three pieces of pie and watched the wind bend the tree branches in her yard as far as they could go then snap back into place.
Susan thinks it's worth noting that she made her first online purchase for Xmas.
Susan thinks it's worth noting that she made her first online purchase for Xmas.
10.25.2011
Susan saw these rings in a magazine a few months back and felt the first rumblings of excitement. That ended when she looked at the website.
10.22.2011
Thank you all for suggesting that Susan's brief lapse of time and space is excusable, but she must respectfully disagree.
The 20th can be mistaken for the 21st and a Wednesday can feel like a Thursday but the very least that Susan expects of herself is to know which month it is. She had three weeks of October under her belt, why would she think that it was November?
She understands wanting to fast forward past Halloween, she likes the Day of the Dead motif but can't stand the endless interaction with the front door and the fake enthusiasm for her small neighbors' costumes.
Plus, doesn't November feel uniquely like the excitement of Thanksgiving mixed with the dread of Xmas and the monotonous anticipation of being able to kick another year to the curb?
Then comes the cold, inescapable, hopeless misery of January and February. Ugh.
March isn't much different from February, but at least one can say it's March. April is really the first month that isn't horrible, then it's smooth sailing through the spring and summer till the cold weather comes again.
God help us all.
The 20th can be mistaken for the 21st and a Wednesday can feel like a Thursday but the very least that Susan expects of herself is to know which month it is. She had three weeks of October under her belt, why would she think that it was November?
She understands wanting to fast forward past Halloween, she likes the Day of the Dead motif but can't stand the endless interaction with the front door and the fake enthusiasm for her small neighbors' costumes.
Plus, doesn't November feel uniquely like the excitement of Thanksgiving mixed with the dread of Xmas and the monotonous anticipation of being able to kick another year to the curb?
Then comes the cold, inescapable, hopeless misery of January and February. Ugh.
March isn't much different from February, but at least one can say it's March. April is really the first month that isn't horrible, then it's smooth sailing through the spring and summer till the cold weather comes again.
God help us all.
10.21.2011
For a few minutes Susan thought that Thanksgiving was next week. It was odd that she didn't realize earlier how close Thanksgiving was, but she got excited about having next two extra days off. Susan ran through a quick mental checklist of everything she had to do; find out what Aunt Eileen wanted her to bring to dinner, get the old folks from the airport, prepare their subterranean guest room and cram a week's worth of work into three days. She moved a pile of office debris from her calendar and saw that it was still October.
OMG, what a dopey a**hole, of course it's still October.
OMG, what a dopey a**hole, of course it's still October.
10.20.2011
Is there something wrong with Susan for not caring about BlogHer and blogging events? She wouldn't mind increasing her modest fan base but she won't go out of her way to do so. She doesn't want to improve her BLAHg or advertise along the edges. She has immediately regretted signing up for everything she initially assessed to be a good idea but makes an exception each November for NaBloPoMo because she likes to punish herself with the Herculean task of writing a post a day.
The husband doesn't read Susan's BLAHg. It holds no value for him because it doesn't generate income. Can you believe that?
Even though she finds this ignorantly limited viewpoint frustrating it provides her with the freedom to say what she wants about him.
For instance; the husband likes to dress up like Liberace and dance like a butterfly.
It's true!
The husband doesn't read Susan's BLAHg. It holds no value for him because it doesn't generate income. Can you believe that?
Even though she finds this ignorantly limited viewpoint frustrating it provides her with the freedom to say what she wants about him.
For instance; the husband likes to dress up like Liberace and dance like a butterfly.
It's true!
10.18.2011
Susan couldn't sleep last night.
She was in a rustic cabin in the Adirondacks without a television, internet access, cell phone service or even radio waves.
She had a few cocktails at a family wedding and crashed early, but her unconscious slumber ended sometime in the middle of the night while everyone else in the universe was asleep.
The creaky cabin was silent except for the sound of her family snoring. Lying on the rock hard mattress she was the most awake she'd ever been. Tossing to the left then turning to the right didn't help, she felt like a prisoner lying on a jailhouse bunk contemplating her crimes.
She got up and moved through the darkness in search of a book or newspaper or cereal box to read but found nothing to occupy her brain. In desperation she slipped outside to shiver in the rain and contemplate how many more hours till breakfast.
Too many.
She was in a rustic cabin in the Adirondacks without a television, internet access, cell phone service or even radio waves.
She had a few cocktails at a family wedding and crashed early, but her unconscious slumber ended sometime in the middle of the night while everyone else in the universe was asleep.
The creaky cabin was silent except for the sound of her family snoring. Lying on the rock hard mattress she was the most awake she'd ever been. Tossing to the left then turning to the right didn't help, she felt like a prisoner lying on a jailhouse bunk contemplating her crimes.
She got up and moved through the darkness in search of a book or newspaper or cereal box to read but found nothing to occupy her brain. In desperation she slipped outside to shiver in the rain and contemplate how many more hours till breakfast.
Too many.
10.14.2011
Susan took the day off to drive around with the husband and look at wedding bands. You may recall that she lost hers last year, if you don't then Susan won't hold it against you. It's unreasonable to think that everyone can remember everything.
Anyway, they got a late start because Susan & the husband have a recurring house guest who sat around all morning drinking coffee and talking. Susan used this time to stay in bed and watch Joseph Cotten look for Orson Welles.
Susan wants a ring that is similar to her original ring in that it's a thick band of yellow gold with colored stones and some amount of detailing. Well, that's not so much similar to the original as it is exactly like the original. But, she doesn't want the same ring even though it was perfect and she wishes she never lost it. That being said she's open to other options.
But, it has to be yellow gold and it has to be thick.
It may or may not have colored stones, she doesn't want diamonds.
She'd like it to look hand made, maybe even a bit rustic.
Or maybe totally modern.
She's not sure, she assumes she'll know it when she sees it.
They drove to a good shopping town with lots of stores and places to get coffee. Every store they went into made custom jewelry. They could make Susan whatever she wanted using the material and finish that she liked with the stones of her choosing. She could add detail or take it away. They'd make her a wax replica so that she could see just how it would look on her finger and work with her until she was happy. She could have a ring that was uniquely hers, imagine how special that would be!
Susan has zero interest in designing her own ring, she just wants to find something she likes and buy it. She doesn't do well with an limitless array of options and doesn't want to be responsible for figuring out what it should look like. She'll be happy to wear someone else's vision.
She ultimately stopped listening to the jewelers describing the endless possibilities available because she could only wonder how much will this cost? She doesn't need a two thousand dollar ring, she's been very happy to wear her twenty dollar silver ring from the craft fair. She'd just like to find something that's more appropriate as a wedding band and then marry the husband again with their kids in attendance.
Anyway, they got a late start because Susan & the husband have a recurring house guest who sat around all morning drinking coffee and talking. Susan used this time to stay in bed and watch Joseph Cotten look for Orson Welles.
Susan wants a ring that is similar to her original ring in that it's a thick band of yellow gold with colored stones and some amount of detailing. Well, that's not so much similar to the original as it is exactly like the original. But, she doesn't want the same ring even though it was perfect and she wishes she never lost it. That being said she's open to other options.
But, it has to be yellow gold and it has to be thick.
It may or may not have colored stones, she doesn't want diamonds.
She'd like it to look hand made, maybe even a bit rustic.
Or maybe totally modern.
She's not sure, she assumes she'll know it when she sees it.
They drove to a good shopping town with lots of stores and places to get coffee. Every store they went into made custom jewelry. They could make Susan whatever she wanted using the material and finish that she liked with the stones of her choosing. She could add detail or take it away. They'd make her a wax replica so that she could see just how it would look on her finger and work with her until she was happy. She could have a ring that was uniquely hers, imagine how special that would be!
Susan has zero interest in designing her own ring, she just wants to find something she likes and buy it. She doesn't do well with an limitless array of options and doesn't want to be responsible for figuring out what it should look like. She'll be happy to wear someone else's vision.
She ultimately stopped listening to the jewelers describing the endless possibilities available because she could only wonder how much will this cost? She doesn't need a two thousand dollar ring, she's been very happy to wear her twenty dollar silver ring from the craft fair. She'd just like to find something that's more appropriate as a wedding band and then marry the husband again with their kids in attendance.
10.12.2011
10.09.2011
East Hampton is a wonderful cemetery for this sort of thing, it’s got primitive headstones, soft grass, and is a very relaxing place to spend time. Susan doesn’t think much of East Hampton town however. Over the years all of the interesting little shops have been devoured by Tiffany, Coach and Juicy Couture, but the cemetery is reason enough to visit.
Susan is in love with old headstones and is always willing to walk through a cemetery to see some. One Veteran’s Day Susan, her little sister and their kids took a side trip to an upstate cemetery to visit an old pal from the neighborhood and spent time cleaning off all the veterans’ headstones. On another occasion Susan and her daughter spent an hour in a witheringly hot cemetery in Maine where they read the headstones of seven children who all expired over the course of a few months.
Sad stuff, but not today.
10.06.2011
10.05.2011
Susan opened her laptop to find an e-mail from her son's Italian teacher. Wonderful!
No doubt she was writing to let Susan know how much she enjoys having the kid in her class.
Hmmm, that wasn't the case.
The most notable aspect of the communication, other than the son's collision course with failure, was that she was the first teacher to ever give Susan a heads up to anything. Honestly, the first.
Susan has always had to contact the teachers to talk about her kid, never the other way around.
Anyway, contrary to the way she was raised, Susan had a calm conversation with her non Italian speaking underachiever. They established that he would attend weekly extra help, study for all tests and quizzes and be plunged into a black pit of despair if he fell below a predetermined grade point.
No doubt she was writing to let Susan know how much she enjoys having the kid in her class.
Hmmm, that wasn't the case.
The most notable aspect of the communication, other than the son's collision course with failure, was that she was the first teacher to ever give Susan a heads up to anything. Honestly, the first.
Susan has always had to contact the teachers to talk about her kid, never the other way around.
Anyway, contrary to the way she was raised, Susan had a calm conversation with her non Italian speaking underachiever. They established that he would attend weekly extra help, study for all tests and quizzes and be plunged into a black pit of despair if he fell below a predetermined grade point.
9.27.2011
Susan found this game in which you choose a $9 an hour job and then figure out how to get through a month of bills. She had the daughter play & then ridiculed her for buying health insurance and spending money on the family pet.
The kid is hopeless.
Over the weekend Susan spent an entire afternoon baking a fresh lime chiffon birthday cake for her little sister then made everyone insist that it was delicious. The margarita cake with tequila glaze was her first choice but it was inappropriate for both birthdays and children.
She's got her cake goal for next weekend.
The kid is hopeless.
Over the weekend Susan spent an entire afternoon baking a fresh lime chiffon birthday cake for her little sister then made everyone insist that it was delicious. The margarita cake with tequila glaze was her first choice but it was inappropriate for both birthdays and children.
She's got her cake goal for next weekend.
9.24.2011
Susan has continued to comb fleas out of Lucy. It's just a few every other day, and the dog rarely scratches, but there's still more than 10 days to go before her next Frontline treatment.
Susan bathed Lucy in the marvelously fragrant all natural shampoo previously approved by cousin Lisa and now her hands smell like clove oil. When she's not huffing them inside a paper bag she's sticking them under the daughter's nose saying smell my hands.
Thanks to the change of seasons & a bit of muggy rain, the past week has been a bonanza of smells that Susan loves, other than stagnant water under her sink. All Susan's fave smells have to do with trees; pine trees, decaying trees, smoke from firewood and dirt.
Susan likes dirt.
Every day on her way to work Susan drives through a section of the pine barrens & past two pine prserves. Regardless of the weather she rolls her windows down and gives a nod to God for that perfect solitary pleasure.
Susan has memories going back to grade school attached to the fragrance of trees; class trips, summer vacations in a cousin's cabin (Hello cousin Kathleen), camping in her twenties and long Labor Day weekends in Seattle (Hello April and Lisa). There's nothing better than walking outside on a freezing winter night and smelling the smoke from a neighborhood of fireplaces.
Unrelated to either fleas or trees, if you want a treat go watch Susan's current favorite movie.
Susan bathed Lucy in the marvelously fragrant all natural shampoo previously approved by cousin Lisa and now her hands smell like clove oil. When she's not huffing them inside a paper bag she's sticking them under the daughter's nose saying smell my hands.
Thanks to the change of seasons & a bit of muggy rain, the past week has been a bonanza of smells that Susan loves, other than stagnant water under her sink. All Susan's fave smells have to do with trees; pine trees, decaying trees, smoke from firewood and dirt.
Susan likes dirt.
Every day on her way to work Susan drives through a section of the pine barrens & past two pine prserves. Regardless of the weather she rolls her windows down and gives a nod to God for that perfect solitary pleasure.
Susan has memories going back to grade school attached to the fragrance of trees; class trips, summer vacations in a cousin's cabin (Hello cousin Kathleen), camping in her twenties and long Labor Day weekends in Seattle (Hello April and Lisa). There's nothing better than walking outside on a freezing winter night and smelling the smoke from a neighborhood of fireplaces.
Unrelated to either fleas or trees, if you want a treat go watch Susan's current favorite movie.
9.22.2011
Susan came home for the second day in a row to an awful smell in her house. She assumed it was a combination of closed windows, farts and the dog but soon suspected that was not the case.
Everyone in the house smelled the smell, except for the husband whose nose is for decoration only. Susan sniffed her way from room to room asking each member of her family if they knew what a dead mouse smelled like. No one knew.
Her nose led her to the space underneath the sink; ground zero. The smell made her stumble backward and drew her children in to yell ‘Ew, it SMELLS!’ Even the husband caught a whiff and came in to investigate.
A small leak from the new sink & faucet ended up as a tub of thick, cloudy, stagnant, stinky water. Susan handed off the disposal & cleanup to the husband and fled.
Everyone in the house smelled the smell, except for the husband whose nose is for decoration only. Susan sniffed her way from room to room asking each member of her family if they knew what a dead mouse smelled like. No one knew.
Her nose led her to the space underneath the sink; ground zero. The smell made her stumble backward and drew her children in to yell ‘Ew, it SMELLS!’ Even the husband caught a whiff and came in to investigate.
A small leak from the new sink & faucet ended up as a tub of thick, cloudy, stagnant, stinky water. Susan handed off the disposal & cleanup to the husband and fled.
9.19.2011
Over the weekend Susan completed her 17th year of being married to the same person which was commemorated by a dinner of Indian food and a movie. At the theatre Susan was given the senior citizen discount because she was standing too close to the husband. Later, she found twelve dollars on the floor.
It was a good anniversary.
It was a good anniversary.
9.06.2011
Susan got new slang flashcards at the mall and she's teaching herself to talk cool like the inner city kids and rappers.
She already uses simple terms like down (in agreement, indicating willingness to participate), crew
(an intimate group of friends with whom one is most publicly associated) and aiight (often used as a generalized term of approval). She thinks chillax (to pass time in an unstructured, comfortable, stress-free manner, usually at a residence) sounds silly although many of her associates use it.
Right off the bat she can use jawn
(a substitute generic term for any person, place or thing for use when the actual word cannot be readily recalled or identified). Fresh to death (truly superlative especially as it relates to a condition of trendiness or fashion forwardness) might get some use, same with shake the spot (to leave, depart). She likes what it do
(an expression of informal greeting) because it reminds her of being a teenager in the '70s.
Steez (style & charisma which is uniquely one's own), trill (genuine, authentic) and jockin' (1: flirting- 2: imitating- 3: ingratiating oneself for ulterior motives) might take some practice.
Next, Susan's got her eye on corporate flashcards so she can learn to talk like a suit.
She already uses simple terms like down (in agreement, indicating willingness to participate), crew
(an intimate group of friends with whom one is most publicly associated) and aiight (often used as a generalized term of approval). She thinks chillax (to pass time in an unstructured, comfortable, stress-free manner, usually at a residence) sounds silly although many of her associates use it.
Right off the bat she can use jawn
(a substitute generic term for any person, place or thing for use when the actual word cannot be readily recalled or identified). Fresh to death (truly superlative especially as it relates to a condition of trendiness or fashion forwardness) might get some use, same with shake the spot (to leave, depart). She likes what it do
(an expression of informal greeting) because it reminds her of being a teenager in the '70s.
Steez (style & charisma which is uniquely one's own), trill (genuine, authentic) and jockin' (1: flirting- 2: imitating- 3: ingratiating oneself for ulterior motives) might take some practice.
Next, Susan's got her eye on corporate flashcards so she can learn to talk like a suit.
9.05.2011
The son has been saying that Lucy the lucky pit bull had fleas but Susan chose to do nothing until he reported seeing one jump up, jump up and get down. Then the daughter saw one do the robot.
Susan grabbed Cousin Lisa and headed out to the local pet superstore, the one where people bring their animals. Susan doesn't travel with her dog and doesn't understand why anyone would want to get their car all full of hair. Conversely, some people might not understand why Susan spends a half hour ironing her white blouse with the intricately ruffled collar. Whatever.
Susan was deciding between two chemical laden treatments when Cousin Lisa, ever the natural woman, held up a shampoo with peppermint oil & clove extract. Susan is powerless to resist clove extract, so, ridiculous or not she bought it. Plus, it was buy one get one free. A flea comb and some dog treats later Susan was out the door.
Once home Lucy was shampooed and combed, her dog bed was thrown out and Susan got on the internet. She replaced Lucy's heavy fabric collar with a bandanna dipped in tea tree oil then she boiled all available citrus fruits (goodbye cocktail essentials), liquefied them in the blender, strained them through the sieve twice and decanted them into a spray bottle for a natural flea deterrent. She's taught the whole family to comb the dog & squish any fleas, of which there haven't really been many, against the teeth of the comb. Susan will also introduce a dietary supplement of brewer's yeast which she recalls from her days as an owner of flea infested cats.
She'll monitor the situation but she's completely aware that she may be kidding herself.
Susan's Kidding Herself: The Update.
Susan's little sister came over, took a look at all the natural bullsh*t and made some snide remarks. Susan recognized the truth in her ridicule and sent the husband out for Frontline.
Susan grabbed Cousin Lisa and headed out to the local pet superstore, the one where people bring their animals. Susan doesn't travel with her dog and doesn't understand why anyone would want to get their car all full of hair. Conversely, some people might not understand why Susan spends a half hour ironing her white blouse with the intricately ruffled collar. Whatever.
Susan was deciding between two chemical laden treatments when Cousin Lisa, ever the natural woman, held up a shampoo with peppermint oil & clove extract. Susan is powerless to resist clove extract, so, ridiculous or not she bought it. Plus, it was buy one get one free. A flea comb and some dog treats later Susan was out the door.
Once home Lucy was shampooed and combed, her dog bed was thrown out and Susan got on the internet. She replaced Lucy's heavy fabric collar with a bandanna dipped in tea tree oil then she boiled all available citrus fruits (goodbye cocktail essentials), liquefied them in the blender, strained them through the sieve twice and decanted them into a spray bottle for a natural flea deterrent. She's taught the whole family to comb the dog & squish any fleas, of which there haven't really been many, against the teeth of the comb. Susan will also introduce a dietary supplement of brewer's yeast which she recalls from her days as an owner of flea infested cats.
She'll monitor the situation but she's completely aware that she may be kidding herself.
Susan's Kidding Herself: The Update.
Susan's little sister came over, took a look at all the natural bullsh*t and made some snide remarks. Susan recognized the truth in her ridicule and sent the husband out for Frontline.
8.30.2011
Black outs are so boring.
How many games of Bananagrams can one person endure? When the daughter dragged out the puzzle Susan opted to wash all the dishes instead. After the dishes she went down to the river to beat the clothes on a rock then she took a cold shower.
Heaven help her.
When Susan’s little sister invited the family over to her house they grabbed everything that had a power cord & sped away from Frontier Town.
It was little sister’s 23rd wedding anniversary and the hurricane necessitated the cancellation of her weekend plans to hook up with her husband who still works and lives two states away. Instead, the two families, minus one brother in law, made a lovely dinner then watched Jersey Shore.
When Susan’s crew returned home to the pitch blackness of their neighborhood the son commented about the amount of stars that could be seen in the sky and how the longer you looked at them the more of them you could see.
It was a very nice observation.
How many games of Bananagrams can one person endure? When the daughter dragged out the puzzle Susan opted to wash all the dishes instead. After the dishes she went down to the river to beat the clothes on a rock then she took a cold shower.
Heaven help her.
When Susan’s little sister invited the family over to her house they grabbed everything that had a power cord & sped away from Frontier Town.
It was little sister’s 23rd wedding anniversary and the hurricane necessitated the cancellation of her weekend plans to hook up with her husband who still works and lives two states away. Instead, the two families, minus one brother in law, made a lovely dinner then watched Jersey Shore.
When Susan’s crew returned home to the pitch blackness of their neighborhood the son commented about the amount of stars that could be seen in the sky and how the longer you looked at them the more of them you could see.
It was a very nice observation.
8.27.2011
Friday night Susan began getting ready for the hurricane by purchasing a 504 piece puzzle for the daughter. They wanted to get in a little puzzle practice so they spread it all over the table and set to work. At the end of two hours, with only four pieces connected, they dumped it back into the box.
Saturday Susan continued her preparation by taking down her wind chimes. She also clipped all the sunflowers from her front yard and put them in her dining room. A quick check of supplies determined there was more than enough liquor and ice cubes to make it through to Monday. There was also enough coffee and reading material.
And speaking of coffee, Susan's new countertop necessitated that she trade up to a French press and now she and the husband are hooked. Hooked!
They can't go back.
Saturday Susan continued her preparation by taking down her wind chimes. She also clipped all the sunflowers from her front yard and put them in her dining room. A quick check of supplies determined there was more than enough liquor and ice cubes to make it through to Monday. There was also enough coffee and reading material.
And speaking of coffee, Susan's new countertop necessitated that she trade up to a French press and now she and the husband are hooked. Hooked!
They can't go back.
8.26.2011
Susan f*cking HATES the Pinkett Smiths and prays every night that horrible things happen to them.
Will you pray too?
O, (insert the leader of your personal belief system), we beseech thee, please give Jada Pinkett Smith the most miserable itch in her lady area and make all the Pinkett Smiths' money fall through a hole in their pockets and let their children get pimply and let a rat die behind the all refrigerators in their beautiful houses and let their help all give unflattering interviews and let their tongues only taste anchovies.
Amen.
Will you pray too?
O, (insert the leader of your personal belief system), we beseech thee, please give Jada Pinkett Smith the most miserable itch in her lady area and make all the Pinkett Smiths' money fall through a hole in their pockets and let their children get pimply and let a rat die behind the all refrigerators in their beautiful houses and let their help all give unflattering interviews and let their tongues only taste anchovies.
Amen.
8.22.2011
Susan and her family went to the outlets looking for school footwear and Susan came how with these in brown.
You lost a little respect for her, didn't you?
Well, Susan already owned these but her little sister has declared them so ugly that Susan only wears them in the house. They're wonderfully comfortable for inside the house, she keeps them right next to her bed so that her bare foot never has to touch the floor.
Susan avoids walking in her bare feet at all costs, unless it's impossible. Like if her footwear is a few steps away and she can't hop or walk on her hands or anything.
She likes these too, she has no defense.
You lost a little respect for her, didn't you?
Well, Susan already owned these but her little sister has declared them so ugly that Susan only wears them in the house. They're wonderfully comfortable for inside the house, she keeps them right next to her bed so that her bare foot never has to touch the floor.
Susan avoids walking in her bare feet at all costs, unless it's impossible. Like if her footwear is a few steps away and she can't hop or walk on her hands or anything.
She likes these too, she has no defense.
8.20.2011
Evening Exchange
You complain alot Susan's teenage daughter said to Susan.
You all give me alot to complain about.
8.18.2011
Susan was in the middle of her regularly scheduled morning hot flash when she stepped outside in search of a cool breeze and walked sweaty-face-first into a spider web.
It was a big one.
It got in her mouth and her hair, it stuck to her fingers and even though she spat it out and washed it off it still left sticky remnants.
Did you notice that last sentence had five its?
It, it, it, it, it.
It was a big one.
It got in her mouth and her hair, it stuck to her fingers and even though she spat it out and washed it off it still left sticky remnants.
Did you notice that last sentence had five its?
It, it, it, it, it.
8.13.2011
Susan and the husband did something only rich people do, they went out and purchased a granite counter top. Oh, it's a lovely piece of black granite flecked with brown and it'll get turned into a wonderful counter top with a bevelled edge and a fancy faucet and soap dispenser just like the Rockefellers must have.
And, normally she would request that everyone wish the husband a HAPPY BIRTHDAY, but since he doesn't read her BLAHg he'll never know the difference.
And, normally she would request that everyone wish the husband a HAPPY BIRTHDAY, but since he doesn't read her BLAHg he'll never know the difference.
8.12.2011
Susan donated blood on the Bloodmobile this week, it was quite the sponatenous decision. She saw an opportunity to atone for blowing off the blood drive at the Knights of Columbus earlier in the week and took it.
Have you ever been on a bloodmobile before? There's not much room. Susan's bloodmobile had reclining seats that ran along the sides and two teeny little interview rooms in the back.
Teeny.
Susan sat in the teeny room being interviewed by the phlebotomist and took notice of the extreme lack of space. The room was claustrophobically small and Susan was uncomfortable. There was probably more elbow room between two people having sex than there was between her and the phlebotomist. But, Susan was there to get stuck with a needle and have her blood drained for twenty minutes and was not going to let anything derail her from that goal.
She was good with the whole thing, then she had juice and cookies.
Have you ever been on a bloodmobile before? There's not much room. Susan's bloodmobile had reclining seats that ran along the sides and two teeny little interview rooms in the back.
Teeny.
Susan sat in the teeny room being interviewed by the phlebotomist and took notice of the extreme lack of space. The room was claustrophobically small and Susan was uncomfortable. There was probably more elbow room between two people having sex than there was between her and the phlebotomist. But, Susan was there to get stuck with a needle and have her blood drained for twenty minutes and was not going to let anything derail her from that goal.
She was good with the whole thing, then she had juice and cookies.
8.11.2011
Susan's husband is an idiot.
She can say that because she's been almost exclusively complimentary for many years.
Lately there have been a bunch of trips thru the fast food window because Susan's lazy and doesn't care about her family's health.
During each one of these trips the husband mispronounced chipotle as chipotey.
She let it go and let it go until it drove her crazy and she was forced to correct him. Susan's husband argued that no one pronounces it that way.
Oh, really? No one pronounces it properly? She immediately enlisted help from the girl handing the food bag through the window.
Please tell my husband how you pronounce chipotle, she requested.
Chi-pote-lay.
End of ridiculous argument with someone who is normally not a f*cking idiot.
She can say that because she's been almost exclusively complimentary for many years.
Lately there have been a bunch of trips thru the fast food window because Susan's lazy and doesn't care about her family's health.
During each one of these trips the husband mispronounced chipotle as chipotey.
She let it go and let it go until it drove her crazy and she was forced to correct him. Susan's husband argued that no one pronounces it that way.
Oh, really? No one pronounces it properly? She immediately enlisted help from the girl handing the food bag through the window.
Please tell my husband how you pronounce chipotle, she requested.
Chi-pote-lay.
End of ridiculous argument with someone who is normally not a f*cking idiot.
8.07.2011
Susan and five sixths of her cousins met up for their annual summer dinner on City Island. Cousin Caroline was unable to join them, but pictured from left to right are Cousins Veronica, Lisa, Susie, Kathy and Melissa in front.
Yes, Susan's alter ego is known as Cousin Susie.
The cousins always meet at The Black Whale, which has a lovely garden out back under the trees. They stay late into the evening laughing, talking and eating. In fact, Susan's profile picture was taken from one of those summer dinners.
Anyway, it was raining this year so they couldn't eat in the garden.
Inside, the restaurant was filled families and children, crying babies, groups of friends and one slightly older couple seated at a small table diagonally across from the cousins.
It was a terrific evening filled with laughter, happiness, funny stories, and conversations about Captain Andy's upcoming deployment and Cousin Veronica's winter wedding.
OMG, Susie loves her cousins so much!
During the evening Cousin Susie's little sister, Cousin Kathy mentioned that the couple at the small table kept looking over at them. Everyone checked to make sure that their boobs hadn't popped out then went on with their merriment.
A little while later, Cousin Kathy mentioned that the female portion of the couple actually turned around and glared at the cousins in a very dramatic manner.
They thought it odd, but continued with their conversations.
After a bit Cousin Kathy said 'I think they threw something at us' which got the cousins' attention. However, upon closer inspection there was nothing that raised suspicion about the couple at the small table so the cousins went back to discussing Cousin Veronica's wedding dress and deciding what dessert they'd like to order.
Then a big SHUSH! was lobbed at them from the small table at the same time Cousin Kathy discovered the projectile; a wadded up sugar packet which she offered as Exhibit A.
The gloves were off!
The couple paid their check and left while comments went back & forth between the two tables. The cousins waved bye bye and blew kisses as the glaring woman gave them the finger. But when the the departing man told Cousin Veronica 'No one cares about your wedding dress' Cousin Kathy returned the wadded up sugar packet by bouncing it off his head.
None of the other diners even noticed what was going on and the cousins sat there for another hour happily enjoying each other's company before making the long drive home.
8.06.2011
Susan's little sister made her see
The Psych Furs play a free show overlooking the water on a beautiful Friday evening.
Damn her!
The Psych Furs play a free show overlooking the water on a beautiful Friday evening.
Damn her!
8.04.2011
Susan took a lovely shower as she does every morning. She let the hot water blast away at her stiff bones, relax her tense shoulders and bring some mobility back to her cricky neck. After this she would be in good shape to be able to bend over and wash her toes.
Anyway, she did everything one does in the shower then reached for the nearest towel. She started from the middle and worked upward when she got to her face she it became clear that she was drying herself with the dog's towel.
Anyway, she did everything one does in the shower then reached for the nearest towel. She started from the middle and worked upward when she got to her face she it became clear that she was drying herself with the dog's towel.
8.02.2011
8.01.2011
Susan's husband forced her to finish the kitchen this weekend. The cabinets were done but they still had no hardware, the tile back splash had no grout and the walls had to be painted.
Susan never grouted anything before. It was easy enough but she's not interested in tiling or grouting ever again. She'd be very comfortable hiring someone for that purpose.
The husband took care of the hardware while Susan started to paint. Halfway through she realized that the color off.
She didn't like it.
She closed up shop for the day and decided that she would reassess in the morning. Everything looks better in the daylight after a restorative night of sleep.
The next morning Susan sent the husband back to Home Depot for a new can of paint.
Susan never grouted anything before. It was easy enough but she's not interested in tiling or grouting ever again. She'd be very comfortable hiring someone for that purpose.
The husband took care of the hardware while Susan started to paint. Halfway through she realized that the color off.
She didn't like it.
She closed up shop for the day and decided that she would reassess in the morning. Everything looks better in the daylight after a restorative night of sleep.
The next morning Susan sent the husband back to Home Depot for a new can of paint.
7.30.2011
Susan has been without her computer for two weeks. Two weeks!
One week went by while Susan dragged herself over miles of molten concrete and the second week was eaten up by the husband forgetting to pick the computer up every single day.
Anyway, the children adjusted very well to using their father's laptop, so first thing Susan did when she got hers back was to change the password & lock them out. G'bye kids.
The second thing she did was to import her vacation pictures and who doesn't love vacation pictures!
And looked across to the White House
One week went by while Susan dragged herself over miles of molten concrete and the second week was eaten up by the husband forgetting to pick the computer up every single day.
Anyway, the children adjusted very well to using their father's laptop, so first thing Susan did when she got hers back was to change the password & lock them out. G'bye kids.
The second thing she did was to import her vacation pictures and who doesn't love vacation pictures!
Here's some jelly fish from the aquarium in Baltimore
And, proof that she was in Philadelphia
She spent the hottest night of her life with Abe
Then saw him again the next day
She visited the fantastically ornate Jefferson Building at the Library of Congress
During this trip Susan found the lovely Sackler Museum
Then over to the Jefferson Memorial
And looked across to the White House
Then everyone went to Chinatown for dimsum and Susan had a kumquat mojito or two.
The End.
7.24.2011
It's already been well documented how poorly Susan does in the heat, how she immediately and completely decompensates leaving only the extremely rotten parts of her personality in evidence. Heat and Susan are not friends, they can't even give a civil nod as they pass one another on the street. And, don't even mention that f*cking b*tch, humidity. Oh, how she hates humidity!
Susan walked on boiling hot pavement all week, first through Philadelphia then through Washington, D.C.
Susan walked till she couldn't walk any more, then somehow found the strength to keep going specifically, but not limited to, the Lincoln Memorial. It was the hottest place Susan had ever been at 10pm, like wading through an airless, steamy landscape, she could barely put one foot in front of the other. The husband referred to their nighttime trek as the death march.
At the end of the next day after walking a thousand miles across the surface of the sun Susan saw the Lincoln Memorial and said
Ooh, I'll be right back then sprinted away like a gazelle to ascend the steps and pay her respects again.
You don't get much better than Lincoln is what Susan thinks.
She had a wonderful, educational, visually spectacular trip and didn't even get blisters or a sunburn, although she got two mosquito bites and a cramped toe had to be massaged back into shape.
Susan walked on boiling hot pavement all week, first through Philadelphia then through Washington, D.C.
Susan walked till she couldn't walk any more, then somehow found the strength to keep going specifically, but not limited to, the Lincoln Memorial. It was the hottest place Susan had ever been at 10pm, like wading through an airless, steamy landscape, she could barely put one foot in front of the other. The husband referred to their nighttime trek as the death march.
At the end of the next day after walking a thousand miles across the surface of the sun Susan saw the Lincoln Memorial and said
Ooh, I'll be right back then sprinted away like a gazelle to ascend the steps and pay her respects again.
You don't get much better than Lincoln is what Susan thinks.
She had a wonderful, educational, visually spectacular trip and didn't even get blisters or a sunburn, although she got two mosquito bites and a cramped toe had to be massaged back into shape.
7.20.2011
Susan and her family went to see
this exhibit in Philadelphia and upgraded their tickets to include admission to this IMAX movie. The theatre was set up in extreme stadium style with plush seats and a dome shaped screen which took up the entire overhead space, much like a giant umbrella. Susan happily settled into the air conditioned comfort of her situation and studied the screen before the movie began. It was made of many, many fabric topped panels behind which were the speakers and other things of a technical nature. The lights went away, the titles started and a deep masculine voice began explaining how the giant screen worked. The audience was advised that some may experience a dizzy feeling, but to close their eyes and the feeling would go away. If one had to leave, they were to climb upward to the back of the theatre and once they exited the doors would lock & that would be it.
Susan wondered who would have to leave.
The movie began with a great, swooping aerial view of the desert. It was right on top of her.
She immediately panicked and closed her eyes.
I don't like this.
She waited a moment, it was only a movie, she's sat thru IMAX movies before.
She tried again.
It was too much, she bolted up to the back of the theatre and out the doors.
Claustrophobia: you don't always see it coming.
this exhibit in Philadelphia and upgraded their tickets to include admission to this IMAX movie. The theatre was set up in extreme stadium style with plush seats and a dome shaped screen which took up the entire overhead space, much like a giant umbrella. Susan happily settled into the air conditioned comfort of her situation and studied the screen before the movie began. It was made of many, many fabric topped panels behind which were the speakers and other things of a technical nature. The lights went away, the titles started and a deep masculine voice began explaining how the giant screen worked. The audience was advised that some may experience a dizzy feeling, but to close their eyes and the feeling would go away. If one had to leave, they were to climb upward to the back of the theatre and once they exited the doors would lock & that would be it.
Susan wondered who would have to leave.
The movie began with a great, swooping aerial view of the desert. It was right on top of her.
She immediately panicked and closed her eyes.
I don't like this.
She waited a moment, it was only a movie, she's sat thru IMAX movies before.
She tried again.
It was too much, she bolted up to the back of the theatre and out the doors.
Claustrophobia: you don't always see it coming.
7.18.2011
Susan is now the mother of two teenagers.
She can't get by anymore with the ambiguous reference to medium sized children. Alas.
The thirteen year old girl spends her days reclining in front of a fan reading. Or drawing. All day. A summer's worth of glorious leisure time to jump in the pool and pal around with friends and paint her toenails and play with the dog.
Her fifteen year old boy has a gig as an unpaid camp counsellor which he takes very seriously; getting up & out on time and dressing like a pirate when mandated. It's his third summer as such, he calls it going to work, Susan reminds him that one can't call it work if one doesn't get paid. It's the same thing she sez to her self-employed husband.
If the kids are getting older then Susan's getting older too. She's adjusted pretty well to her advancing decrepitude. She just needs to know that somewhere out there is somebody older than her.
She really didn't get it together until she became a working mother. Her five years as a stay at home mom mixed pleasure with depression and loneliness. Being forced to return to work with small children made her figure out how to get stuff done. That notwithstanding, she's still lazy and not too smart about some things and erupts easily over nonsense and never met a magazine that she didn't want to keep stacked in a corner and would rather go to sleep than meet her marital responsibilities.
And, speaking of working mothers; poor JLo, eh?
She can't get by anymore with the ambiguous reference to medium sized children. Alas.
The thirteen year old girl spends her days reclining in front of a fan reading. Or drawing. All day. A summer's worth of glorious leisure time to jump in the pool and pal around with friends and paint her toenails and play with the dog.
Her fifteen year old boy has a gig as an unpaid camp counsellor which he takes very seriously; getting up & out on time and dressing like a pirate when mandated. It's his third summer as such, he calls it going to work, Susan reminds him that one can't call it work if one doesn't get paid. It's the same thing she sez to her self-employed husband.
If the kids are getting older then Susan's getting older too. She's adjusted pretty well to her advancing decrepitude. She just needs to know that somewhere out there is somebody older than her.
She really didn't get it together until she became a working mother. Her five years as a stay at home mom mixed pleasure with depression and loneliness. Being forced to return to work with small children made her figure out how to get stuff done. That notwithstanding, she's still lazy and not too smart about some things and erupts easily over nonsense and never met a magazine that she didn't want to keep stacked in a corner and would rather go to sleep than meet her marital responsibilities.
And, speaking of working mothers; poor JLo, eh?
7.17.2011
Susan's f*cking computer is out of commission again.
Did you hear her put her fist through the wall?
How about when she was throwing sh*t all around the house, did you hear that? The only thing that kept her from really going crazy was that it wasn't her hard drive. Again. The point of entry for the power cord will cost $130 to be soldered back in place. Until that magical transaction occurs she's sitting at the dining room table using the husband's relic, the one she spilled sangria on.
So many exciting things have happened to Susan since last she blogged.
First, she had a piece of home made chocolate cake with peanut butter filling that just ruined her for any other cake.
Next, a recurring house guest sent her an ice cream maker, which is a bloody awesome gift to give someone. Susan's daughter, the floor installer, immediately made strawberry ice cream. This was followed by the most painfully tart and sweet lemon sorbet, which got eaten up by a house full of puckery faced guests. Doesn't a limey, minty mojito sorbet sound fantastic? Yes, it does!
Then, Susan's friend GP came for a visit with her little dog, Sadie who was immediately set upon by Lucy. Sadie was snatched up in Lucy's pit bull teeth and shaken from side to side making a reality of Susan's worst expectations. Lucy went at Sadie twice, ignoring all hysterical instructions to the contrary, then released the pup and stood calmly looking at Susan.
Miraculously, there was no blood and Sadie walked away without so much as a limp although the dogs cannot be in each other's company. So, when one is inside the other is outside. When both must be inside, one is upstairs and the other downstairs.
Oh, my.
3:30 am GP awakened Susan with Sadie's having trouble breathing! Susan stumbled out in her underwear to research the address of the 24 hour veterinary hospital in her county. She remembers a story told by Cousin Lisa's brother, Captain Andy, of his own dog's emergency followed by the general location of the hospital and 'if ever you need one'
Susan sent GP off with directions and the prophetic
It's gonna be expensive.
And it was.
Susan's in for half.
Oh, and Susan would like everyone to say HAPPY BIRTHDAY to her daughter, a brand new teenager!
Did you hear her put her fist through the wall?
How about when she was throwing sh*t all around the house, did you hear that? The only thing that kept her from really going crazy was that it wasn't her hard drive. Again. The point of entry for the power cord will cost $130 to be soldered back in place. Until that magical transaction occurs she's sitting at the dining room table using the husband's relic, the one she spilled sangria on.
So many exciting things have happened to Susan since last she blogged.
First, she had a piece of home made chocolate cake with peanut butter filling that just ruined her for any other cake.
Next, a recurring house guest sent her an ice cream maker, which is a bloody awesome gift to give someone. Susan's daughter, the floor installer, immediately made strawberry ice cream. This was followed by the most painfully tart and sweet lemon sorbet, which got eaten up by a house full of puckery faced guests. Doesn't a limey, minty mojito sorbet sound fantastic? Yes, it does!
Then, Susan's friend GP came for a visit with her little dog, Sadie who was immediately set upon by Lucy. Sadie was snatched up in Lucy's pit bull teeth and shaken from side to side making a reality of Susan's worst expectations. Lucy went at Sadie twice, ignoring all hysterical instructions to the contrary, then released the pup and stood calmly looking at Susan.
Miraculously, there was no blood and Sadie walked away without so much as a limp although the dogs cannot be in each other's company. So, when one is inside the other is outside. When both must be inside, one is upstairs and the other downstairs.
Oh, my.
3:30 am GP awakened Susan with Sadie's having trouble breathing! Susan stumbled out in her underwear to research the address of the 24 hour veterinary hospital in her county. She remembers a story told by Cousin Lisa's brother, Captain Andy, of his own dog's emergency followed by the general location of the hospital and 'if ever you need one'
Susan sent GP off with directions and the prophetic
It's gonna be expensive.
And it was.
Susan's in for half.
Oh, and Susan would like everyone to say HAPPY BIRTHDAY to her daughter, a brand new teenager!
7.10.2011
Alright, alright, calm down everybody. No black walls.
Susan's little sister recommended Susan paint the kitchen the color of Lucy the Lucky Pit Bull which is such a dark brown it may as well be black. Susan thinks she's just going to choose something a few shades darker than the newly painted cabinets and be done with it.
In the meantime Miss Twelve helped her father install a new linoleum tile kitchen floor. Susan was onsite during the critical initial stage to argue about how they should be placed. When she saw how enthusiastic and capable the daughter was Susan left the room to search for Celebrity Rehab on TV.
When she returned she was impressed with their progress, almost half the floor was done. Under closer inspection it was determined that the tiles were only sort of straight. Susan pulled them all up and made the team start over, this time under her supervision.
Miss Twelve displayed a wonderfully professional demeanor, free of complaining or pouting or anger. She stuck with it & finished as much of the floor as she could before everybody got sick of the project and quit for the evening.
Oh, and Susan would like everyone to say HAPPY BIRTHDAY to her mommy.
Susan's little sister recommended Susan paint the kitchen the color of Lucy the Lucky Pit Bull which is such a dark brown it may as well be black. Susan thinks she's just going to choose something a few shades darker than the newly painted cabinets and be done with it.
In the meantime Miss Twelve helped her father install a new linoleum tile kitchen floor. Susan was onsite during the critical initial stage to argue about how they should be placed. When she saw how enthusiastic and capable the daughter was Susan left the room to search for Celebrity Rehab on TV.
When she returned she was impressed with their progress, almost half the floor was done. Under closer inspection it was determined that the tiles were only sort of straight. Susan pulled them all up and made the team start over, this time under her supervision.
Miss Twelve displayed a wonderfully professional demeanor, free of complaining or pouting or anger. She stuck with it & finished as much of the floor as she could before everybody got sick of the project and quit for the evening.
Oh, and Susan would like everyone to say HAPPY BIRTHDAY to her mommy.
7.08.2011
7.07.2011
Susan got bleach in her eye. Ow!
She was cleaning the bathroom using her regular glasses in lieu of protective eye wear when a single drop of bleach went airborne and scored a direct hit. Pow! Immediately Susan's eyeball burst into flames. She flushed it with water like a crazy person but it still smoldered for the rest of the day.
She took her Marilyn Manson eye and started prepping the kitchen cabinets to be painted. They were sporting an undercoating of grease topped with a layer of dog hair. She green cleaned them with rubbing alcohol and a surprisingly small amount of physical effort.
Next came the disassembly, which she left to the husband; fourteen doors and two piles of hardware. Then the priming then the painting. Priming is easy because you don't have to be neat, but painting requires two coats with 24 hours drying time in between. Susan doesn't want to mislead anyone into thinking that she knocked this project off quickly. Nay! It's taken three days and she's still working on it. She fears that when she's done she'll have to paint the walls too.
It's pretty certain that she'll have to paint the walls.
She was cleaning the bathroom using her regular glasses in lieu of protective eye wear when a single drop of bleach went airborne and scored a direct hit. Pow! Immediately Susan's eyeball burst into flames. She flushed it with water like a crazy person but it still smoldered for the rest of the day.
She took her Marilyn Manson eye and started prepping the kitchen cabinets to be painted. They were sporting an undercoating of grease topped with a layer of dog hair. She green cleaned them with rubbing alcohol and a surprisingly small amount of physical effort.
Next came the disassembly, which she left to the husband; fourteen doors and two piles of hardware. Then the priming then the painting. Priming is easy because you don't have to be neat, but painting requires two coats with 24 hours drying time in between. Susan doesn't want to mislead anyone into thinking that she knocked this project off quickly. Nay! It's taken three days and she's still working on it. She fears that when she's done she'll have to paint the walls too.
It's pretty certain that she'll have to paint the walls.
6.29.2011
It's been established that IKEA sucks because they didn't give Susan bags last week. She had other issues, but the bags really bugged her. She wrote sucky IKEA an e-mail explaining the depth of her disgust and threatened to stay away until the bags came back. As the week wore on she realized that she wouldn't be able to stick to her plan of hatred and avoidance.
It started because Susan bought some really lovely dark chocolate for like,
a dollar. But, she didn't buy enough because she was afraid of what one dollar dark chocolate might taste like.
Now she needs more.
She also bought salmon and crab spread in toothpaste style tubes, but her friend George ate most of it.
She needs more.
She has to go back.
It started because Susan bought some really lovely dark chocolate for like,
a dollar. But, she didn't buy enough because she was afraid of what one dollar dark chocolate might taste like.
Now she needs more.
She also bought salmon and crab spread in toothpaste style tubes, but her friend George ate most of it.
She needs more.
She has to go back.
6.22.2011
Susan and her little sister went to IKEA after work. Before you guys get all Oh, IKEA! Susan wants to know if you've been to IKEA lately? Well, then you know that they have NO BAGS!
That's correct. They have NO BAGS unless you'd like to purchase a reusable bag for a dollar. Susan doesn't want to purchase a reusable bag for a dollar. Susan wants IKEA to provide the basic requirement needed to complete their transaction; a m*therf*cking bag.
Susan does not want to gather her little kitcheny things and votive candles and lingonberry jelly jars in the folds of her clothing like an immigrant and schlep them out to the car, which is a whole other story. Once you get outside you can't take those horribly unwieldy rolling carts beyond the barriers to the parking lot. The poor slob of a customer has to leave the cart behind, run out to retrieve their car and hope no one has pinched their sh*t.
OMG, Susan hates IKEA now and she told them why here.
That's correct. They have NO BAGS unless you'd like to purchase a reusable bag for a dollar. Susan doesn't want to purchase a reusable bag for a dollar. Susan wants IKEA to provide the basic requirement needed to complete their transaction; a m*therf*cking bag.
Susan does not want to gather her little kitcheny things and votive candles and lingonberry jelly jars in the folds of her clothing like an immigrant and schlep them out to the car, which is a whole other story. Once you get outside you can't take those horribly unwieldy rolling carts beyond the barriers to the parking lot. The poor slob of a customer has to leave the cart behind, run out to retrieve their car and hope no one has pinched their sh*t.
OMG, Susan hates IKEA now and she told them why here.
6.19.2011
Susan spent day two gardening in the front yard. She learned a few things from day one so she put on her Burberry rain boots then made the entire family come out to assist.
The Burberry rain boots are really fantastic for slogging around in mud and dog sh*t but utilizing family labor is really fantastic for doing all the stuff that hurts Susan's back.
Susan's next door neighbor came over and traded some yellow buttercups for unearthed sea grass, her up the block neighbor contributed sunflower plants. Beetles and slugs hid in the grass, birds pulled worms out of the dirt and Susan let her family do all the hard work.
The Burberry rain boots are really fantastic for slogging around in mud and dog sh*t but utilizing family labor is really fantastic for doing all the stuff that hurts Susan's back.
Susan's next door neighbor came over and traded some yellow buttercups for unearthed sea grass, her up the block neighbor contributed sunflower plants. Beetles and slugs hid in the grass, birds pulled worms out of the dirt and Susan let her family do all the hard work.
Cousin Lisa gave Susan a tree for her birthday which started a chain reaction of Susan digging up her front yard and moving plants around. Half got chucked into the compost bin.
Susan's not a gardener and she's definitely not into manual labor at all. Once a summer she'll drunk-weed the hydrangeas. Her only other involvement is thinking that somebody should do something about the yard. But today she used a shovel, a hatchet, a wheelbarrow and a pick axe like an old gold miner. Then she walked around in mud which served to grind dirt into her caloused feet.
Anyway, the place looks better.
Susan's not a gardener and she's definitely not into manual labor at all. Once a summer she'll drunk-weed the hydrangeas. Her only other involvement is thinking that somebody should do something about the yard. But today she used a shovel, a hatchet, a wheelbarrow and a pick axe like an old gold miner. Then she walked around in mud which served to grind dirt into her caloused feet.
Anyway, the place looks better.
6.18.2011
Susan turned down a piece of cake this week.
She knows what you're thinking, but it was a really awful cake that her little sister picked out.
Imagine the worst cake in the world and what do you come up with?
White chocolate?
That's right.
And the inside?
Red velvet.
Ugh!
The white chocolate red velvet cake was so horrible that Susan couldn't even stand the smell of it and once this was discovered everyone took great delight in sticking their cake under Susan's nose.
Susan hates her family.
She knows what you're thinking, but it was a really awful cake that her little sister picked out.
Imagine the worst cake in the world and what do you come up with?
White chocolate?
That's right.
And the inside?
Red velvet.
Ugh!
The white chocolate red velvet cake was so horrible that Susan couldn't even stand the smell of it and once this was discovered everyone took great delight in sticking their cake under Susan's nose.
Susan hates her family.
6.13.2011
Susan had three large teenagers in the backseat of her car. One belonged to her and the other two were being driven three blocks. They whined like babies when she made them strap in.
I can't find the seat belts
Are there even any back here?
Susan assisted them by illuminating the inside of the car and waiting until they were securely fastened before she drove even one inch.
When she got home she took the opportunity to review with her son & daughter the minimum requirements she has for them as her children;
They must always wear their seat belts even when no one tells them to, even when they're in the back seat, even when their friends make fun of them.
She told them that they will doom her to a life of grief and agony if anything happens to them because they opted not to wear their seat belts. Even once.
We do wear our seat belts mom, all the time they said, their voices dripping with that special exasperation reserved just for Susan.
I can't find the seat belts
Are there even any back here?
Susan assisted them by illuminating the inside of the car and waiting until they were securely fastened before she drove even one inch.
When she got home she took the opportunity to review with her son & daughter the minimum requirements she has for them as her children;
They must always wear their seat belts even when no one tells them to, even when they're in the back seat, even when their friends make fun of them.
She told them that they will doom her to a life of grief and agony if anything happens to them because they opted not to wear their seat belts. Even once.
We do wear our seat belts mom, all the time they said, their voices dripping with that special exasperation reserved just for Susan.
6.11.2011
Susan's back to normal now. Her bad mood has blown over and everything is as it was.
She treated herself to a sparkly pair of flat shoes. Any time she has money she looks for flats. All year round. She loves heels but she loves flats too. Susan's got a big foot, not as big as her little sister's, but big enough.
The flats made it a good day.
She treated herself to a sparkly pair of flat shoes. Any time she has money she looks for flats. All year round. She loves heels but she loves flats too. Susan's got a big foot, not as big as her little sister's, but big enough.
The flats made it a good day.
6.10.2011
There is no balance in Susan's life. None.
It's all workworkworkwork then she goes home and drinks. Or sleeps. Or screams at people to hang up wet towels.
Today was Susan's birthday and it was a real crappy one. She was in a foul mood left over from yesterday and couldn't even fake a smile. Of course, she didn't really try.
People in the know wished Susan a happy birthday, gave her cards,
a flowering plant, a cake. That sort of helped, but only a little.
Susan's mood improved when her friend Fire Ball showed up with her little offspring. They presented Susan with a wonderful arrangement of orange Gerbera daisies and palm fronds then Susan allowed the little offspring to charm her into fifteen minutes of relaxation.
Later at home Susan's little sister and all her nieces showed up with a birthday cake, Susan blew the candles out unenthusiastically.
She told her little sister the story of the previous m*therf*cking rotten day at Acme Sweatshop then her little sister shared her own unpleasant work stories.
It seems that Susan is not alone in her birthday misery, and that knowledge was the best present of all.
It's all workworkworkwork then she goes home and drinks. Or sleeps. Or screams at people to hang up wet towels.
Today was Susan's birthday and it was a real crappy one. She was in a foul mood left over from yesterday and couldn't even fake a smile. Of course, she didn't really try.
People in the know wished Susan a happy birthday, gave her cards,
a flowering plant, a cake. That sort of helped, but only a little.
Susan's mood improved when her friend Fire Ball showed up with her little offspring. They presented Susan with a wonderful arrangement of orange Gerbera daisies and palm fronds then Susan allowed the little offspring to charm her into fifteen minutes of relaxation.
Later at home Susan's little sister and all her nieces showed up with a birthday cake, Susan blew the candles out unenthusiastically.
She told her little sister the story of the previous m*therf*cking rotten day at Acme Sweatshop then her little sister shared her own unpleasant work stories.
It seems that Susan is not alone in her birthday misery, and that knowledge was the best present of all.
6.08.2011
Susan had a really m*therf*cking rotten day at Acme Sweatshop, one that required blueberry pancakes for dinner. Plump, explosive blueberries in fluffy pancakes was the only thing she could think of as she stomped out of her office at the end of the day.
She purchased the blueberries on her way home along with some outrageously red, voluptuously ripe strawberries.
They were crazy ripe.
The strawberries got dipped directly into the sugar bowl as she mixed the pancake batter. She dipped, then bit, then dipped again, she didn't care. Be forewarned if you use the sugar at Susan's house.
Anyway, Susan's too tired to blog a proper ending and will conclude with; dinner was eaten with great enthusiasm by her children. The end.
She purchased the blueberries on her way home along with some outrageously red, voluptuously ripe strawberries.
They were crazy ripe.
The strawberries got dipped directly into the sugar bowl as she mixed the pancake batter. She dipped, then bit, then dipped again, she didn't care. Be forewarned if you use the sugar at Susan's house.
Anyway, Susan's too tired to blog a proper ending and will conclude with; dinner was eaten with great enthusiasm by her children. The end.
6.07.2011
Susan is jealous of people who have book clubs. Not only is it a way to force yourself to read a book, it's also something to do once a month.
Susan wanted to start a book club and inquired of her little sister if she knew any smart readers.
No James Patterson types, no one under 40, no aggressive talkers and no one who lived too far away.
Susan's little sister claimed not to know anyone who fit that criteria. Furthermore, she declined membership for herself claiming that she had no time to read an entire book.
You can't read a book in a month? Susan asked in an agitated manner and ultimately hounded her little sister into an exasperated acceptance.
Next she texted a neighborhood girlfriend while she daydreamed about what cocktails and little foody things she would serve at book club.
No thanks, I don't care for book clubs was the texted response.
Susan was out of people to invite.
So, Susan is the President of her Tiny Book Club and her little sister is Seargant at Arms. They'll enthusiastically accept any recommendations for something to read.
Susan wanted to start a book club and inquired of her little sister if she knew any smart readers.
No James Patterson types, no one under 40, no aggressive talkers and no one who lived too far away.
Susan's little sister claimed not to know anyone who fit that criteria. Furthermore, she declined membership for herself claiming that she had no time to read an entire book.
You can't read a book in a month? Susan asked in an agitated manner and ultimately hounded her little sister into an exasperated acceptance.
Next she texted a neighborhood girlfriend while she daydreamed about what cocktails and little foody things she would serve at book club.
No thanks, I don't care for book clubs was the texted response.
Susan was out of people to invite.
So, Susan is the President of her Tiny Book Club and her little sister is Seargant at Arms. They'll enthusiastically accept any recommendations for something to read.
5.31.2011
With this quote from Emily Dickinson;
'One need not be a chamber to be haunted, One need not be a house. The brain has corridors surpassing material place.' Mama Kat prompted Susan to write about her claustrophobia.
Susan discovered she was thusly afflicted the day her old man requested her assistance holding up a muffler pipe. He put her on the creeper, slid her underneath the car and she crossed a threshold from which she has been unable to return.
Susan can remember every elevator that's pushed her to the brink of hysteria; in a Seattle parking garage, in Macy's, Herald Square and in any office building she's ever worked. She can get on an elevator when there's no other option. But when there is, she's taking the stairs.
Back in her twenties she was still able to maintain her composure as she climbed the narrow staircase of a local lighthouse, but it took tremendous focus. Now, she wouldn't dare try.
The results of each brush with claustrophobia are bad dreams and heightened anxiety. Susan has learned to manage these side effects relatively well because she's had alot of practice.
During a block party a few years back Susan followed her little sister into one of those inflatable jumpy things and was seized with fear when she stuck her face into the little opening.
Small passageways are off limits to Susan now.
That great scene where Uma Thurman busts her way out of the grave in Kill Bill Vol.2...forget it! Susan risks insanity if she watches it again.
She was sedated to get through this situation, had to stop reading halfway through this article and sometimes she gets claustrophobic if she stares at the bottom of the glass while she's drinking.
'One need not be a chamber to be haunted, One need not be a house. The brain has corridors surpassing material place.' Mama Kat prompted Susan to write about her claustrophobia.
Susan discovered she was thusly afflicted the day her old man requested her assistance holding up a muffler pipe. He put her on the creeper, slid her underneath the car and she crossed a threshold from which she has been unable to return.
Susan can remember every elevator that's pushed her to the brink of hysteria; in a Seattle parking garage, in Macy's, Herald Square and in any office building she's ever worked. She can get on an elevator when there's no other option. But when there is, she's taking the stairs.
Back in her twenties she was still able to maintain her composure as she climbed the narrow staircase of a local lighthouse, but it took tremendous focus. Now, she wouldn't dare try.
The results of each brush with claustrophobia are bad dreams and heightened anxiety. Susan has learned to manage these side effects relatively well because she's had alot of practice.
During a block party a few years back Susan followed her little sister into one of those inflatable jumpy things and was seized with fear when she stuck her face into the little opening.
Small passageways are off limits to Susan now.
That great scene where Uma Thurman busts her way out of the grave in Kill Bill Vol.2...forget it! Susan risks insanity if she watches it again.
She was sedated to get through this situation, had to stop reading halfway through this article and sometimes she gets claustrophobic if she stares at the bottom of the glass while she's drinking.
Crazy, she knows.
5.30.2011
5.29.2011
Susan's family was in need of summer staples including sneakers and underwear so they went to the outlets on Saturday. Is there anything more suburban than the outlets?
Maybe the food court.
The food court at the outlets offered Susan a limited amount of unappealing choices for her lunch. She rejected flaccid pizza, slimy Chinese and $7 egg salad sandwiches. The husband sensing danger investigated why Susan didn't have a try of food in front of her.
'There is nothing I could possibly eat in this place, one thing is greasier than the next.'
Just then, an overweight woman at the next table, picked up her giant soda and plate of disgusting food and moved from within earshot of Susan.
In the meantime, the husband knew exactly what Susan needed and got her a chili cheese dog from Nathan's. It was fabulous!
Maybe the food court.
The food court at the outlets offered Susan a limited amount of unappealing choices for her lunch. She rejected flaccid pizza, slimy Chinese and $7 egg salad sandwiches. The husband sensing danger investigated why Susan didn't have a try of food in front of her.
'There is nothing I could possibly eat in this place, one thing is greasier than the next.'
Just then, an overweight woman at the next table, picked up her giant soda and plate of disgusting food and moved from within earshot of Susan.
In the meantime, the husband knew exactly what Susan needed and got her a chili cheese dog from Nathan's. It was fabulous!
5.25.2011
5.24.2011
5.23.2011
Over the weekend Susan spent an entire afternoon in a bridal shop. Oy.
That has got to be the worst job in the world. Susan can't imagine having to spend eight hours in the company of sweet young brides and their entourage every damned day.
As far as Susan is aware there is nothing that an impending bride can say that she wants to hear.
What, how shiny and beautiful the world is? No!
About the tropical honeymoon?
Again, no!
And, how about all those monotonous white dresses? Susan wouldn't be able to fake her way through a single You look beautiful, darling!
Ugh, she couldn't.
That has got to be the worst job in the world. Susan can't imagine having to spend eight hours in the company of sweet young brides and their entourage every damned day.
As far as Susan is aware there is nothing that an impending bride can say that she wants to hear.
What, how shiny and beautiful the world is? No!
About the tropical honeymoon?
Again, no!
And, how about all those monotonous white dresses? Susan wouldn't be able to fake her way through a single You look beautiful, darling!
Ugh, she couldn't.
5.22.2011
The old folks are in town to sleep in Susan's basement for ten days. The husband volunteered to retrieve them in the middle of a foggy night then managed to slam three of her father's fingers in the trunk before they left the airport.
The next day Susan's mother accompanied her as she ran errands including one she hasn't done in thirty years; to open a savings account.
Susan hates banks.
HATES.
She hates how they're not on her side but pretend they are.
She hates how they tell her NO instead of yes.
She hates their condescending manner as they steal her money one fee at a time.
In the past Susan has walked out of banks while waiting for someone to assist her, like here.
This time Susan took her profoundly jaded and unenthusiastic self to a credit union and allowed William to open an account for her. He got down to business without any fake chit chat. William provided Susan with all the information about her new account and none of it bugged her. During the transaction Susan noticed a change sorting machine, William told her that it was free for members.
When Susan was done she thanked William and left feeling very even tempered, not at all like someone who was just pawed in the back of a car, had her pockets picked & then got dropped off in the middle of nowhere.
Susan will be curious to see if this relationship lasts.
The next day Susan's mother accompanied her as she ran errands including one she hasn't done in thirty years; to open a savings account.
Susan hates banks.
HATES.
She hates how they're not on her side but pretend they are.
She hates how they tell her NO instead of yes.
She hates their condescending manner as they steal her money one fee at a time.
In the past Susan has walked out of banks while waiting for someone to assist her, like here.
This time Susan took her profoundly jaded and unenthusiastic self to a credit union and allowed William to open an account for her. He got down to business without any fake chit chat. William provided Susan with all the information about her new account and none of it bugged her. During the transaction Susan noticed a change sorting machine, William told her that it was free for members.
When Susan was done she thanked William and left feeling very even tempered, not at all like someone who was just pawed in the back of a car, had her pockets picked & then got dropped off in the middle of nowhere.
Susan will be curious to see if this relationship lasts.
5.17.2011
Susan accomplished the impossible and left work early one day last week.She drove to the greatest city in the world with her little sister and youngest niece to admire the artistic thesis of her art school niece.
The niece calls it You're Making Me Nervous which undoubtedly refers to the likelihood of making a living after graduation.
5.15.2011
Susan turned on the TV at the exact moment the Barefoot Contessa whipped out a puff pastry.
Oh, yes!
Pesto and goat cheese and sundried tomatoes and toasted pignolli.
It just got better and better!
Susan finds the Barefoot Contessa's conversational style to be very soothing. If only Susan could vault the ten foot hedge out in East Hampton and be Ina's friend. She might even help Susan meet Alec Baldwin.
Susan never revealed that she went to high school with Alec Baldwin, did she? He was two years ahead of her so the closest she ever got was to pass by him in the hallway. She can't explain why she was aware of him at all because she didn't associate outside of her grade. She wasn't involved in sports or the drama club or anything extra curricular. She didn't have a boyfriend or friends with boyfriends. Who knows.
It will have to remain a high school mystery. But there's no mystery to her obsession with puff pastry.
That is a love of pure, flaky butter.
Oh, yes!
Pesto and goat cheese and sundried tomatoes and toasted pignolli.
It just got better and better!
Susan finds the Barefoot Contessa's conversational style to be very soothing. If only Susan could vault the ten foot hedge out in East Hampton and be Ina's friend. She might even help Susan meet Alec Baldwin.
Susan never revealed that she went to high school with Alec Baldwin, did she? He was two years ahead of her so the closest she ever got was to pass by him in the hallway. She can't explain why she was aware of him at all because she didn't associate outside of her grade. She wasn't involved in sports or the drama club or anything extra curricular. She didn't have a boyfriend or friends with boyfriends. Who knows.
It will have to remain a high school mystery. But there's no mystery to her obsession with puff pastry.
That is a love of pure, flaky butter.
5.08.2011
5.07.2011
The first year of Susan's marriage she accompanied her husband to what turned out to be a fancy party.
She questioned him about the dress code and he said People are coming from work meaning just wear your work outfit.
So she did.
Susan remembers exactly what she wore sixteen years ago, may she bore you with the description?
She chose a high waisted, khaki green pencil skirt into which she tucked a soft cream colored blouse with a floral pattern woven into the fabric. She doesn't recall the footwear but she looked very nice for work.
Her first inkling that something was wrong came as she & the husband arrived at the party and observed bejeweled women in furs getting out of limousines.
She has never trusted the husband's opinion on such an important social matter since.
Friday night Susan accompanied the husband to a party celebrating the significant birthday of a longtime pal. In the morning Susan dressed for work with the party in mind. She chose something dark and slimming with a dark sweater that cinched at the waist in case she got chilly.
Her first inkling that something was wrong came as she & the husband approached the house, which was on the water and windy as a sonofab*tch, and saw a big tent in the yard.
The party is outside? Susan glared at the husband who was wearing his heavy jacket.
Yes sez he.
It was cold! Everyone was dressed in their arctic gear. Susan was in heels with painted toenails.
Susan analyzed, adapted and overcame.
She positioned herself at the blazing firepit and had a great time. She chatted with old friends, drank red wine, ate and then went home smelling like a campfire.
She questioned him about the dress code and he said People are coming from work meaning just wear your work outfit.
So she did.
Susan remembers exactly what she wore sixteen years ago, may she bore you with the description?
She chose a high waisted, khaki green pencil skirt into which she tucked a soft cream colored blouse with a floral pattern woven into the fabric. She doesn't recall the footwear but she looked very nice for work.
Her first inkling that something was wrong came as she & the husband arrived at the party and observed bejeweled women in furs getting out of limousines.
She has never trusted the husband's opinion on such an important social matter since.
Friday night Susan accompanied the husband to a party celebrating the significant birthday of a longtime pal. In the morning Susan dressed for work with the party in mind. She chose something dark and slimming with a dark sweater that cinched at the waist in case she got chilly.
Her first inkling that something was wrong came as she & the husband approached the house, which was on the water and windy as a sonofab*tch, and saw a big tent in the yard.
The party is outside? Susan glared at the husband who was wearing his heavy jacket.
Yes sez he.
It was cold! Everyone was dressed in their arctic gear. Susan was in heels with painted toenails.
Susan analyzed, adapted and overcame.
She positioned herself at the blazing firepit and had a great time. She chatted with old friends, drank red wine, ate and then went home smelling like a campfire.
5.02.2011
4.30.2011
Susan has a teeny little office.
It started out as the back end of the office next to hers, but one wall and a door later Susan has a place to toil the hours away.
Susan's office has a dorm sized fridge thanks to her niece's departure from the sleep away portion of art school.
On top of the fridge is a wonderful Keurig coffee machine, a gift from her boss in appreciation of all the hours Susan spends pulling her hair out in the teeny office.
For the last few months Susan has been working on an art project, a triptych of collages, completed after much agony.
Susan quietly humped them in to work and had them hung on her wall then practiced behaving modestly in anticipation of the praise she would receive for her awesome talents with glue stick and magazine cut outs.
Here's Susan's fave comment thus far:
They look like motel art.
It started out as the back end of the office next to hers, but one wall and a door later Susan has a place to toil the hours away.
Susan's office has a dorm sized fridge thanks to her niece's departure from the sleep away portion of art school.
On top of the fridge is a wonderful Keurig coffee machine, a gift from her boss in appreciation of all the hours Susan spends pulling her hair out in the teeny office.
For the last few months Susan has been working on an art project, a triptych of collages, completed after much agony.
Susan quietly humped them in to work and had them hung on her wall then practiced behaving modestly in anticipation of the praise she would receive for her awesome talents with glue stick and magazine cut outs.
Here's Susan's fave comment thus far:
They look like motel art.
4.28.2011
Susan has it on secondhand authority that two of her cousins are engaged in a Facebook fight.
It was explained to Susan,
by someone who wasn't there,
that an Easter Sunday conversation later degenerated into a nasty FB brouhaha.
Comment pileup is a common hazard in this setting and it's always fun to see what they reveal about the commenter.
Usually it's nothing good.
It was explained to Susan,
by someone who wasn't there,
that an Easter Sunday conversation later degenerated into a nasty FB brouhaha.
Comment pileup is a common hazard in this setting and it's always fun to see what they reveal about the commenter.
Usually it's nothing good.
4.27.2011
4.26.2011
You all know that scene with Julie Andrews twirling against the backdrop of the Alps? Well, that's how Susan feels about her new obsession,
PUFF PASTRY.
Every weekend Susan sautes something delicious and wraps a puff pastry around it.
Mushrooms, sausage, broccoli rabe, goat cheese?
Yes, yes, yes, YES!
Susan can't believe that she's gotten to her advanced age without it.
Carmelized onions, prosciutto, mozzarella?
Yes!
Pears, walnuts and bleu cheese?
No!
That was a test.
Were you fooled?
PUFF PASTRY.
Every weekend Susan sautes something delicious and wraps a puff pastry around it.
Mushrooms, sausage, broccoli rabe, goat cheese?
Yes, yes, yes, YES!
Susan can't believe that she's gotten to her advanced age without it.
Carmelized onions, prosciutto, mozzarella?
Yes!
Pears, walnuts and bleu cheese?
No!
That was a test.
Were you fooled?
4.22.2011
4.10.2011
Susan is going to tell you something then ask if you've ever heard of such bullsh*t before in your life.
Susan is able to maintain a stash of dark chocolate in the house because no one else likes it. They don't like it so they don't look for it. Even still, Susan keeps her dark chocolate eating restricted to the husband's company. She trusts him.
The lure of dark chocolate was too much and drove the husband to weave a web of bullsh*t.
Let me see that chocolate he sez.
You don't like it.
Yes I do.
No you don't, it's not sweet.
It absolutely is sweet.
You're completely full of sh*t and will say anything to get my chocolate.
I like dark chocolate.
F*ck you, liar.
Susan is able to maintain a stash of dark chocolate in the house because no one else likes it. They don't like it so they don't look for it. Even still, Susan keeps her dark chocolate eating restricted to the husband's company. She trusts him.
The lure of dark chocolate was too much and drove the husband to weave a web of bullsh*t.
Let me see that chocolate he sez.
You don't like it.
Yes I do.
No you don't, it's not sweet.
It absolutely is sweet.
You're completely full of sh*t and will say anything to get my chocolate.
I like dark chocolate.
F*ck you, liar.
4.07.2011
4.03.2011
Susan located a folder of e-mailed photos that survived when her brand new birthday laptop killed itself after taking her pictures and all her music hostage.
These two are of her old man and his Pan Am pals, Bill and Charlie taking a bi-plane ride way back in 2006. 
Susan can't imagine anything she'd like less than being strapped into a teeny plane with no roof or anything to protect her when she panics and tries to jump out.
Go, pop!
These two are of her old man and his Pan Am pals, Bill and Charlie taking a bi-plane ride way back in 2006. 
Susan can't imagine anything she'd like less than being strapped into a teeny plane with no roof or anything to protect her when she panics and tries to jump out.Go, pop!
4.02.2011
OMG guys, you are too fantastic!
Really.
Imagine Susan is giving each one of you a BIG HUG filled with sincerity and warmth and maybe a little boob smush.
Hers are only B cups.
It was really lovely to see all your comments of concern, encouragement and support and Susan appreciates the crap out of them.
Thank you, darlings.
That being said, Susan would like to reassure you that everything is fine other than the normal troubles of modern life;
unaffordable mortgage modifications,
twelve hour work days with a few weekends thrown in,
male members of her household making the bathroom smell like urine, the absence of springtime in her neighborhood,
a favorite earring gone missing,
dog hair everywhere.
During her bloggy black out Susan stayed up past her bedtime to watch this movie which she loved as a teenager, invited her little sister over to watch this movie, stayed in bed late on a Sunday morning to watch this movie and had to leave for work in the middle of this movie which required all her self discipline because Bette Davis and Mary Astor were at each other's throats.
She also treated herself to a quartet of Young's Double Chocolate Stout on which she will report back later.
Really.
Imagine Susan is giving each one of you a BIG HUG filled with sincerity and warmth and maybe a little boob smush.
Hers are only B cups.
It was really lovely to see all your comments of concern, encouragement and support and Susan appreciates the crap out of them.
Thank you, darlings.
That being said, Susan would like to reassure you that everything is fine other than the normal troubles of modern life;
unaffordable mortgage modifications,
twelve hour work days with a few weekends thrown in,
male members of her household making the bathroom smell like urine, the absence of springtime in her neighborhood,
a favorite earring gone missing,
dog hair everywhere.
During her bloggy black out Susan stayed up past her bedtime to watch this movie which she loved as a teenager, invited her little sister over to watch this movie, stayed in bed late on a Sunday morning to watch this movie and had to leave for work in the middle of this movie which required all her self discipline because Bette Davis and Mary Astor were at each other's throats.
She also treated herself to a quartet of Young's Double Chocolate Stout on which she will report back later.
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