3.25.2009

The $130 Pair Of Pants

Susan purchased an expensive pair of pants rather impulsively the other day. She was under the euphoria of job foreplay and was too woozy to make a solid purchasing decision. Although the pants were nice, they never would have made it out the door with her under normal circumstances. But, sometimes when one shops in a nice store, with proper dressing rooms and psychologically trained sales personnel, things just happen. Particularly when one comes directly from a promising job interview armed with a gift card.

The following day the pants went back.
In their place were purchased two tops because that's what Susan needs. She can wear the same pair of black pants for a month as long as she alternates everything else. Susan would like the reader to know that she also negotiated a 20% discount on one item and free shipping on the other.
Susan rocks.

When Susan returned home after a long morning of trying on all the clothes in the store twice, she expected to find a message on her answering machine from her prospective employer.
There was no freak-out when the message was not there.

Susan is a confident and mature woman, not a paranoid & isolated housefrau who believes that there is a plot to f*ck around with her. What employed stranger has the time to f*ck around with Susan anyway?

Susan kept her mind occupied by ironing everything in her closet.
She mended seams and polished jewelry.
She brutally re-assessed her clothing.
Susan started a bag for Goodwill.

Eventually Susan left the house to watch her son's wrestling team, eat pizza and interact with her family like a normal person.