Susan's friend Fireball provided Susan with a recipe for a taco lasagna; a wonderful mixture of pantry ingredients added to ground turkey and layered between tortillas and cheese. 
Susan was getting ready to put this new family fave together when the son walked into the kitchen in time to watch his mother drop the meat on the floor, pick it up, rinse it off in the sink & throw it into the pan.


No one except Anonymous liked Susan's video?
It can't be that you didn't think it was funny. If that were the case then Susan would be disappointed.

Was it the bad words? 
Bad words are like friends to Susan, they help her get through the day even if someone else is saying them.

The contemporary slang?
Susan didn't get it either so she applied the same strategy that she uses with Shakespeare and the Spanish people at work; she relaxed her brain and was able to understand every third word, picking up the gist of things.

However, for a more complete understanding you may choose to refer to Rap Genius.

Surely you're not protesting because Susan's BLAHging has been spotty? Well, that's not fair! Sometimes a person has to work long hours then come home eat a bowl of cereal and go to bed in their clothes.

Susan's not perfect, if she were then she wouldn't BLAHg, she'd just be out showing everyone how to do everything right.


Thrift Shop

Damn, that's a cold ass honky.


It was Susan's turn to host an annual family party last weekend. She loves her aunt, uncle and all her cousins but she doesn't love having them in her house at the same time.
Everyone pitched in with food and chores but it was no match for Susan's limited square footage or counter space. She also bore a great disappointment with her Red Grapefruit Margarita Punch. Sure, it was a pretty color and tasted great, just like a margarita, but how many glasses of grapefruit juice can a party guest drink before they eat Susan's entire bottle of Tums?
The next morning Susan arose at 11:30 am and ate cookies for breakfast.
Then the rest of the shrimp mousse for lunch.
Dinner was a bag of smoked almonds.


Susan wished someone boo-guy instead of goodbye recently. That sounds kind of cute doesn't it? 
Well, it's NOT. 
There are mounds of evidence stacked against Susan's brain for this type of nonsense.
Two minutes ago she mistakenly called the son's cooler a backpack. She attempted to correct herself by then calling it a coldpack.
There are gaps in her sentences while she hunts for her next word. She's not referring to anything tricky like obfuscation or corpulent, she's getting jammed up by hamburger bun and dishwasher.
Holy crap, Batman.
She forgot that she owed her little sister several hundred dollars and when it was brought to her attention Susan said 'Really?' because even after that reminder she still didn't remember.
Susan writes down everything she needs to do lest it cease to exist beyond her next thought. She maintains a two page to-do list for use at Acme Sweatshop with a separate column for miscellaneous tasks under the heading OMG, there's MORE to do?
Susan appreciates everyone who tells her that this is a result of having too much on her mind but she knows they're lying.


Susan got all creeped out watching Celebrity Ghost Stories on TV.
She doesn't go to scary movies or listen to scary stories because she's a total baby about that stuff. 
Scary stories, even stupid celebrity ghost stories make her look at everything differently; dark corners, lengthening shadows, the new Vegetarian Times magazine. All friggin' creepy.

Let's end with a joke, shall we?
This one comes courtesy of Susan's old man:
How do we know that the invisible man didn't have any children?
Because he wasn't apparent.


Can you tell that Susan has had zero energy for BLAHging?
It's not that she lacks desire, she just lacks the mental stamina and the time.  By the end of the day everything that went on has been reduced to a soupy blur.
That, and her creative process i s   v  e  r  y    s   l   o   w.
Sure, everybody else can just sit down and bang out their bloggy thoughts, but Susan has to dedicate alot of time to cradling her head in her hands while rubbing her eyes.

Well, that's all in the past because it's a new year and Susan made a few notes about personal things she'd like to change. Blogging was not one of them but she's not worried, she anticipates getting back with the program shortly.

In the meantime, here's what's gone on:

Susan still doesn't have her car back, but she has a rental which she managed to drive over an invisible parking divider.
Ba-boom! Ba-boom!

Susan and cousin Lisa discussed current events; '90s super model Naomi Campbell was violently pushed to the ground in Paris then sought treatment from the top orthopedist in the world...in the world!  After which Naomi tweeted words of inspiration.

Susan's dryer broke and she bought a new one.

Susan ate wasabi mashed potatoes and blew her nose for the rest of the day.

Susan received her lovely Bantam Lake Studio necklace and earrings which she won in a give-away hosted by Deidre, and they represent nicer in the actual than the virtual. Thanks, Mrs. Climate!

Susan made pink grapefruit margaritas and the husband didn't like them, but who cares. She's thinking of featuring them at a family party later in the month.

The daughter passed the second anniversary of her menstrual cycle.

Susan is working on ideas to make her subterranean level a lounge into which she may retreat from her family.