Susan caught wind of this 30 Days of Gratitude thing which was probably devised just to bug people like her anyway.

Haven't we had enough with listing things to be grateful for?
Susan sure has.

If somebody doesn't say ENOUGH, then this gratitude bullsh*t is going to flourish.

Aren't we all grateful for the same boring stuff anyway; health, loved ones, clean towels, etc?
Ten years ago Susan was grateful for birth control.
Twenty years ago it was cigarettes.
Thirty years ago, what...The Go-Go's? Who cares.

Susan is grateful that none of the million horrible things that happen to nice people every day hasn't happened to her.
Susan is grateful when she has a question she can GTS (google that sh*t) instead of leafing through twenty volumes of an encyclopedia, like she did in the olden days
Susan is grateful that her mom can't make her eat fish sticks and spaghetti any more
Susan is grateful that she's sort of got the hang of Acme Sweatshop and makes it through most weeks intact
Susan is grateful for curse words.

Now, can we all f*cking stop telling everybody what we're grateful for? Sonofab*tch!