Susan hates Facebook (exception FB Marketplace), there's no convincing her that anyone's ever said anything worthwhile on FB. She likes Instagram because it's pictures and all the words are easily ignored. She regularly weeds out Instagram accounts for which she's lost enthusiasm. It's not that she stopped liking them, our Susan only has so much attention to spare and has to draw the line. 

Often folks will be charming in their posts but allow politics to peek out in their stories, probably because stories disappear after 24 hours. Susan never cared if you liked a president or hated him, if you were one of the Star Belly Sneetches or the Plain Belly Sneetches, but then 2016 happened. Now if she sees a clip from Fox News on your Instagram that's it. You're out. Even if she likes you. She can't trust you and knows you'd turn her in to the nazi leadership just like Lisel's boyfriend in The Sound of Music. Plus, if you get your news from that cesspool of lies...don't make her say it. OK, you're stoopid.

Let's change the topic to today's anxiety baking; zucchini cake with orange glaze. If you want to feel good immediately, pound some cardamom and anise seeds with a mortar and pestle. You can make a cake with it if you want, although you don't have to, just smelling it is enough.

Oh, look at the time. See you tomorrow.

Susan HATES

Susan hates FB.
She hates when people tell her they're FB friends with people they don't actually spend time with.
Susan hates when her little sister sez Look what I posted on FB and then shoves the screen in front of her face.
Susan hates all the fake bullsh*t people use to draw attention to themselves on FB.
The retardedly unnecessary LOL doesn't even get capitalized anymore, it's just lol.
And, OMG the exclamation points!!!!!!!!!
Susan hates FB.

Susan's hatred of Facebook is well documented somewhere in her BLAHg posts. Every year she commemorates the day she deactivated her account by feeling superior. However, when Susan wanted to sign up for pinterest she had to sully herself once again with the undesirable FB.
Ugh.
There was no way around it except thru Twitter which is a word that makes her feel silly even to think about.

She put it off as long as she could then reluctantly made a new FB account and threw up.  After consideration Susan invited her little sister to become her sole friend in order to have access to her pictures then tightened up her privacy settings so that no one could find her. But, that's not really possible because FB is all about finding people. Within an hour she had two friend requests from her oldest and dearest, and declined them both. Then her little sister started tagging her in pictures which started people commenting about the pictures which generated more friend requests from her actual friends.
This was a disaster.

Obviously Susan doesn't know how to effectively manage her settings and will have to employ one of her children to assist their doddering old mum.

Susan has it on secondhand authority that two of her cousins are engaged in a Facebook fight.

It was explained to Susan,
by someone who wasn't there,
that an Easter Sunday conversation later degenerated into a nasty FB brouhaha.

Comment pileup is a common hazard in this setting and it's always fun to see what they reveal about the commenter.

Usually it's nothing good.

OMG, everything on Facebook sounds so SMART

Here's a sampling of things Susan saw on one Facebook wall;

The tragedy was tragic

I'm going to go with the mentally ill theory personally myself

1am Saturday night

Aisle misspelled as isle

Psycho misspelled as psyco

Roll misspelled as role

Were misspelled as where

Stick with Susan as she checks another;

Were misspelled as where again

so spelled sooooooooo

definitely misspelled as definately

!!!!!!!!!!

Susan had no idea when she woke up this morning that this would be the first day of her emancipation.

It started quite normally with blue skies, the Sunday papers and children grumbling about having to go back to the church of their mother's experiment after a lengthy absence.

When the family returned home Susan changed into something more appropriate for the summer heat and set about the business of enjoying the day. She took her new birthday laptop out to sit under the shade on the deck and check her e-mail.

Ugh, a message from Facebook;

Somebody posted something on your Wall and wrote something boring.

Susan f*cking HATES FB and is sorry she ever let her little sister sign her up for it.
She originally thought that it might be a good way to keep track of her nieces who were not always accessible because they had better things to do than anything Aunt Sue could offer them.

Pretty soon some of Susan's cousins had profiles, and her out of state girlfriends, and her children, which started a war with the husband but he backed off, and then everyone else in the universe including Wild Bill's much loathed former spouse who used FB to spy on everyone until they figured out to change their privacy settings.

Unfortunately, no one ever wrote anything interesting unless one finds misspelled tedium with lots of exclamation points interesting.

Susan does not.

As a coping mechanism she would prowl FB after hours writing nasty comments on deserving friends' walls, unfriending them one by one.

Today was the day that she reached her limit for insipid blathering and deleted her profile.

Goodbye FB friends, some of you weren't friends anyway, as for the rest,
she'll see you in real life.