She knows that this is a recurring topic but most every day Susan sees a word that she hates. They're always on social media which is her own fault for exposing her delicate self to the written expressions of ordinary folk who can't spell, punctuate, or sound smart, but let's not allow this to impede her from enumerating the words that make her blood boil.

Her top five will always be;

• BLESSED: Don't confuse receiving a Pandora bracelet with being blessed unless you're the Virgin Mary 
• MAGICAL: Very few things are actually magical. In fact, nothing is.
• WANDERLUST: Why would a reputable person even want to be associated with this word?
• JOURNEY: Ugh, enough with the journey of every little thing
• AMAZING: Susan guarantees not to be amazed

Now, let's talk about ants.
Susan's house hosts ants every spring, always in her kitchen and often in her bathroom. They're nothing special, just standard small black ants for which she mixes together a diabolical smoothie of honey & Borax. It requires a few days to take effect so she passes the time by encouraging them to have their fill and keeping absolutely nothing impregnable out in the open.
Sometimes Susan will set her Rebecca Minkoff acid yellow structured mini tote down on the kitchen counter only to find an ant crawling across its surface the following day while she's at work. Sometimes she even transports an ant on her person to a second location.
If you are squeamish about getting ant cooties from Susan's house, don't come over.

Third and last topic.
You guys all know that if you click on any word(s) that are a different color you'll go on an amazing magical journey to another website, right? Did you click on Rebecca Minkoff above? Did you click on  How Doctors Die two Twistedsusans ago? If not, get crackin' and keep your eyes peeled in the future.

Susan had a full day yesterday.
It started with another in a series of fights with her daughter over nonsense, and by nonsense she means passive aggressive bullsh*t instigated by a sixteen year old because of who knows why, certainly not Susan.

The fight sucked up a lot of energy so Susan took a shower, made some snacks for later, accompanied her pal Sharon to purchase white paint, cleaned ants out of her cupboards, then attended a Tupperware party hosted by Aunt Barbara.

Here's Aunt Barbara:

She's a sassy lady and the top seller of plastic crap in the northeast

Aunt Barbara's also a little near-sided because she mistook Susan for Julianne Moore.

Sorry Susan's real Aunt Eileen and Aunt Maryann, you're out. Barbara's her new fave.

Ed. note: Susan's friend Sharon would like it noted that the ants were cleaned out of Susan's cupboard, not Sharon's. Sharon feels that point was not clearly made back in paragraph two.

Susan received three gifts today!
The first was an envelope from her boss which she has not yet opened because she forgot it under a pile of debris on her desk.
The second was a cigar (Cuban seeds, rolled in the D.R.)
Third was a commercial gel ant killer.

Susan has ants in her house, which aren't the worst things to have crawling around, but they're a bit of a nuisance.
Here are some places Susan has found ants:

• In the bathroom sink
• On the kitchen counter
• In the coffee machine
• In the sugar bowl
• On her sandwich
• On her computer screen
• On her person